Old habits die hard
by RMB
Summary: Kate and Sawyer met at a bar at L.A. airport. They spent some intoxicating hours together before their flight to Australia. When they met again, they were stranded on a desert island....
1. Meet the Redneck

**Chapter 1**** – Meet the Redneck**

Kate jumped into the cold water of the pool. It was freezing and she wouldn't have wanted to go in for the world but she desperately needed to cool down. She swam the short distance to the waterfall and climbed out to stand under the cool flashes that came down and into the pool. She stood there for several minutes when the cold finally made her shiver too much and she decided she had to get back out.

As she put her clothes back on her wet body she took a deep breath. All sorts of thoughts were racing through her mind but only one thought kept coming back constantly, like a boomerang. Sawyer. She hated him for being on her mind. He did strange things to her. Most of the time he pissed her off and she wanted to hit him hard in the chest or any other part of his body for that matter. But when she got around to thinking about his body her breath quickened and she got these tingly feelings between her legs. And even now that her whole body was still freezing she felt her pulse quicken only at the thought of him. His tanned skin, the rakish way his blond hair fell into his face, his dimples that only emerged when he grinned, his annoying yet somewhat sexy Southern accent. God, she really hated him. And damn it, yes, she wanted him.

She decided that it was getting too late and that she best got back to camp. The others might be worrying where she was. So she took her stuff and started to march back to the beach. When she arrived only few of the other survivors were still awake. Most of them had already gone to sleep. Only Charlie was still sitting at a fire playing soft tunes on his guitar. Hurley was sitting a few steps away from him nearly dozing off. She had to smile at the picture. It was this easiness that surrounded them that made her somehow happy. It didn't look as if they ever had any problems in their lives, even though she knew better. When Charlie saw her he waved at her and she smiled back mouthing a soft Goodnight.

Finally Kate reached her tent and went inside. She let her backpack fall on the soft sand and laid herself down on her makeshift bed. Again she took a deep breath. She had loads to think about but sleep was so intriguing and soon she dozed off.

"_This seat taken?" she said with a soft sigh. "Last time I checked this was a free country, sweetheart" said the blond man with a heavy __southern accent. Kate rolled her eyes at him since he didn't even bother looking at her. She sat down and ordered a Gin and Tonic. When the bartender brought her the drink she took a big gulp and sighed again. The liquid left a hot trace on her lips which she licked off with her tongue. All she wanted was to get wasted like never before and forget everything but she couldn't. Her flight would leave in 4 hours and she couldn't possibly board it drunk. But she needed some sort of relief. Some sort of oblivion. In the past only sex or a strong drink had provided these two and since too much alcohol was off the table she only had sex left. But being single at L.A. airport didn't necessarily provide the best options. She heard the Redneck next to her order another Whiskey. Man, that guy really seemed to have a bad night coming. She dared a glimpse over to him and saw his face a little better than earlier. He wasn't exactly handsome but something about him made her bite her lower lip. Maybe it was his rudeness, or the way his blond hair hung into his face. Maybe the stubble on his chin. She didn't know. "Hey there, Cupcake, I ain't a window so stop window shopping!" he hissed at her. Gosh, his voice was really sexy when he was angry. She sipped the remains of her drink and said casually: "What if I wanted to go real shopping, Cowboy?"_

Kate woke up. It was already morning and the sun was shining. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked around. She was still in her tent on "Craphole Island" as Sawyer liked to call it. "Why am I even surprised?" she thought to herself. Sometimes when she was dreaming she hoped the island was the dream and her dreams reality. Strictly spoken they were reality. Or rather had been. She didn't really know when she started having those dreams. It was a few weeks back but she failed to pinpoint a certain day or moment. Suddenly they just appeared. Every night the same series of events. Her meeting Sawyer. Everybody else believed they first met on the island but he and herself knew better. They weren't strangers but they weren't anything else really, either. But still, those dreams were unnerving and she found herself out of answers how to solve this problem.

"Hey, Freckles, mornin'. Hope you had a good night's sleep?" Sawyer said with his way too sexy accent. She shot him a look. She really needed to get another tarp for her tent to cover the entry. "Oh c'mon, Sweetcheeks, sun's shinin', we got enough fish to eat, why y'all so depressed today?" His voice was uncommonly happy. Normally he was the one trying to avoid everyone and far from socializing at all. But not today. He smiled one of his pearly smiles at her and grinned revealing his dimples. How she loved those dimples. He barely showed them due to his general bad-ass-don't-need-savin' attitude but when he did he sent tickles down her spine. But she needed to forget these thoughts, needed to concentrate and function.

"What do you want, James?" she asked flatly. He looked at her disappointedly. "What now, Freckles? Back to formalities, are we?" he said with a hint of irony in his voice. He came a few steps closer into her tent and licked his lips. "Ya know, Freckles, could help ya with the formalities, if ya like." She honestly couldn't believe what he had just said. After everything that had happened he was trying to seduce her? She got up and tried to stare him down but didn't succeed like she never had before. He came a few more steps closer until her face was mere inches away from his. "Come on, Freckles, I know you want it. Don't deny Hot River flowing down there." He looked down between her legs and licked his lips again. Kate couldn't really decide whether she was turned on by that or disgusted. Turned on. Definitely. But she wasn't ready to give in so easily.

"You know Sawyer, I was just desperate back then. I would have fucked with a fifty year old bald guy." Her voice was flat and decisive and she shoved him aside and strode off to the kitchen to get something to eat. Sawyer was dumbfounded but smiled to himself nonetheless. "One day you'll see, Freckles, one day…"


	2. Danger lies ahead

**Chapter 2 – Danger lies ahead**

_Kate shut the door behind her and grinned seductively at the blond Redneck standing only a few inches away from her. H__e let the hotel key fall down and approached her again. He kissed her hard and fast letting his tongue explore her mouth shamelessly and sending shivers down her spine. God he was good. It hadn't taken too much effort to get him interested. Merely a few cheesy lines and he was up for it as much as she was herself. Soon they had agreed on casual sex and getting a hotel room and now here they were. He pushed her hard against the door which made Kate flinch in pain. Sawyer only grinned at her deviously. "Like it rough, Sweetheart?" he teased with this hot accent of his and begun trailing hot wet kisses down her neck. Kate moaned softly but at the same time let her hands run over his back. They were both still fully dressed but already the heat that came from their bodies was almost too hard to bear. Kate began unbuttoning his shirt frantically as he let his hands roam over her body under her shirt. His hands moved expertly first over her back and then over her breasts where he found her nipples already hard and waiting for him. He circled each one teasingly and Kate could feel herself getting wetter by the second. This man was doing things to her she hadn't expected. She let his shirt fall to the floor and touched his tanned, naked skin for the first time. His muscles were perfectly shaped and as she let her hands run over his stomach he let out a guttural moan. He pinned her even harder against the door wanting her to feel how hard he already was. His erection rubbed hard against Kate's hips and she lifted her legs and curled them around his waist. Now she could feel his already hard cock against her hot and wet center and she couldn't bear it anymore. "Fuck me" she whispered into his ears. "Fuck me senseless…."_

"Kate? Kate, were you listening to anything I've been saying?" Jack looked at her expectantly. She hadn't heard a word the doc had said. Her mind was taking her back to that hotel room again. Playing the same movie over and over again. Sawyer. Naked. On top of her. Inside her. Taking her. Fucking her. Focus. She really needed to focus. She looked at Jack and slowly shook her head. She took a deep breath and started to explain: "I'm sorry Jack. It's my head, I've been feeling dizzy and I can't focus. Guess it's the heat or something."

He looked at her and nodded. "I said that it might be best if we started a night guard or something. You know, 2 three hour shifts, 2 people each. After all the strange things happening we really should try harder to keep everyone safe." Kate nodded. That was actually a good idea. Too many people had been abducted or hurt before. She nodded. "Alright then, I'll make a list. Thanks, Kate." Jack shot her a smile and got up. He was already half gone before he turned back around and said: "Kate, maybe you should sleep a bit or take a walk or something. And make sure you get enough to drink and eat. If these headaches keep coming back, tell me ok?" She nodded again. Jack really cared for everyone including herself. She felt almost bad about lying to him. But she couldn't tell him that in truth she was thinking about Sawyer making her scream, rocking her hard against his cock as he told her how hot and sexy she was. No, focus, Kate, focus! She shook her head and decided to try one of Jack's ideas. She got up and walked along the beach. "I'm taking a walk…." she told herself, trying to clear her mind from anything else but the exceptional view the island offered. Everybody seemed to be busy with something so nobody really talked to her or approached her. Only a little wave and smile here and there but that was it. Kate was more than happy about that. She wanted to clear her head and get her thoughts away from Sawyer but she knew that she couldn't focus on a normal conversation anyway. She had walked for about half an hour when she came to a very remote part of the beach. The tents of the survivors were miles away and only a few palm trees decorated the white sand. Kate sat down on the warm sand her back resting against one of the trees and closed her eyes. Soon she dozed off into a light sleep her mind racing with thoughts and images. She didn't know what to do about it. She had thought she wouldn't ever see him again after they both had gone their separate ways in Australia. Who could've know they would end up on a desert island together where there's nothing else to do but ponder about what ifs.

_"Hey, Freckles, already on the run?" Sawyer's voice was a lot huskier than before. Kate turned around and looked at him. She had already dressed and had only her shoes to put back on. "Need to catch my plane, you know." she said with a flat tone. _

_He sat up in the big hotel bed and shot her a grin undressing her with his eyes. "You know, Cupcake, your plane doesn't leave for another 2 hours. I happen to be on the very same plane and I ain't runnin' yet. So get your cute ass back into bed for some more pre-flight delight."_

_"This is so dangerous" she thought to herself. She had just wanted some random bloke to sle__ep with and what did she get? Mr Seduce-'em-all himself. He looked at her expectantly. She bit her lower lip thinking about whether she should stay for another round of meaningless but indescribable great sex or cut and run. She looked at her watch. He was right, they still had 2 hours left and she definitely didn't have anything else to do. She smiled at him and licked her lips with her tongue at the same time slowly getting undressed._

Kate woke up, her stomach reminding her of the fact that she hadn't had much to eat that day. She decided to go back to camp to get something. Halfway back to camp she found her stomach churning wildly and decided she couldn't wait until she got the whole way back to camp. She turned left and walked determinedly into the jungle. She easily found her way through the trees and bushes, she had spent quite some time out here alone so she knew exactly where to go to find some fruit. After a few minutes she found a mango tree that hadn't been picked clean yet and started climbing to get the delicious fruits. When she got back down she took a big bite and moaned softly in pleasure. She liked the food the island provided, she wasn't a big fan of burgers or steak anyway, so she was more than content with fruit and fish. Except for one thing that she really missed. Chocolate. Chocolate bars, ice cream, pralines, anything. Even cocoa with cream would fulfill her desire for the dark substance. But they didn't have any and so she sighed as she took another big bite of mango. Eating she commenced her track back towards the beach as she suddenly saw something disturbing on the ground. It was a book. She walked towards it and picked it up. It was quite old. "The Canterbury Tales" by Chaucer. Kate wondered who might read such a book and looked around. She half expected Sawyer to show up, he was the great reader among the survivors but this book looked as though nobody had read it in a long while. She looked again to the ground hoping to find a trace of something. Holding the book she took a few steps left and a few back to the right when suddenly the world seemed to shatter around her and she cracked down into a hole with a loud thudding noise.

"Damn it" she screamed as she found herself lying on the muddy ground in a trap hole. "How could I be so damn stupid?" she asked herself. Someone had built a trap in the jungle and she totally fell for it. Getting up she tried to remove the dirt on her pants and arms but didn't succeed since the whole place was muddy and dirty. "Great" she muttered to herself, "why bother cleaning my clothes at all?" Kate was getting angry when she realized how deep that hole was dug into the ground. She looked around. No rope of any kind. Her only chance would be trying to climb out without one. She tried. And fell hard against the ground again. "Fuck" she yelled.

However hard she tried to get out of the hole all by herself she never managed to and finally sat down on the ground, her face exhausted and her mood way beyond bad. She had no choice, she had to stay until someone came along and found her, which was damn unlikely.


	3. Lost and found

_**Chapter 3**__** - Lost and Found**_

_"God, she is beautiful." Sawyer thought to himself. The woman next to him was breathing softly and he watched__her chest falling down every time she breathed out. A few streaks of her dark curls hung wildly into her face__. She looked exhausted but Sawyer wasn't surprised. They had just spent 3 hours having sex. Not just average sex. Primal, painful, exhilarating sex. Never has it been like this and he's been with many women. It was his damn job after all. Conning women out of their money. But with her it was different. She made him lose control. If this had been a con he would've been slow. Would've kissed every part of her body, of her skin. Would've touched her everywhere until she screamed for the first time only from his hands caressing her hot skin. Then he would have kissed hot traces over her breasts, he would have sucked her hard nipples and slowly he would have worked his way downwards to the sacred place between her legs. He would have let his tongue kiss her slowly until she moaned in pleasure. He would've started to suck very, very slowly until she had to grab the pillows for hold. Slowly pressuring her clit he would have pleasured her until she came again. But he wouldn't have stopped there. He could imagine how she would look when she came hard with his lips and tongue inside of her. She would have screamed his name in agony. Sawyer sighed barely audibly. There were so many things he could have done to that stranger lying next to him. Things he would've done normally, but he couldn't. At first it had seemed like she was just some chick needing release but when he dared looking at her and saw her Freckles for the first time he knew it. "I'm wretched" he had thought to himself. And now that he was lying next to her, almost feeling her heart beat against the linen he knew it was more true than ever. Something was different about that girl but he might never find out._

"Hey, Jinbo, you seen Kate around?" Sawyer asked Jin. The Korean man looked him in the eyes but didn't seem to understand. Sawyer tried to elaborate with his hands and louder tunes. "Kate?" he said a lot louder. Jin nodded and began talking agitatedly in Korean. Sawyer looked at him trying very hard to get anything Jin said but he gave up. He really didn't have the patience now. He needed to talk to Kate right now. He had felt this urge to apologize for his behavior earlier and he needed it over and done before he turned into another sobbing wimp, like the Doc. He smiled at Jin and left. Jin looked after him for a few moments trying to understand why Sawyer had just left but he, too, knew, that without him speaking English or Sawyer speaking Korean they wouldn't get very far anyway.

"You just have to imagine it's peanut butter, Claire! Imagine!" Sawyer saw Charlie dipping his finger into an empty jar and joyfully licking at as if it was the most delicious thing he ever put into his mouth. Claire giggled at the picture but when she realized Sawyer was standing merely a few feet away from them her look became more serious. Charlie turned around. "Hey, mate, what can I do for you?" he said with his distinctive accent. "Lookin' for Kate, you seen her?" Sawyer asked. Charlie and Claire exchanged a few looks but both instinctively shook their heads. "No, I haven't seen her." answered Claire with her Australian tongue. Charlie nodded and soon Sawyer was off again looking for his favorite tomboy.

"_Hey Freckles, already on the run?" he said from his location on the bed. Kate had already dressed and looked as she was about to leave. She said something about having to catch her plane but he could only laugh at that. "No way you're leaving now that I know what you can do" he thought to himself. It only took a few sentences to convince her to stay just a little longer and already she was undressing herself again. __When she finally let her panties fall to the ground he got up on his knees. He was already aroused from only looking at her undress and it drove him wild. How could she do that? She stood very close to the bed but didn't get on it yet. He looked into her eyes and knew exactly what she wanted. He moved himself closer to the edge of the bed until her hard nipples were gently rubbing against his naked chest. The sensation run through his whole body and caused his cock to harden even more. Kate could feel the evidence of his arousal hard against her lower stomach and let out a soft moan. God, he wanted to do so many things at one time to that woman. But when she smiled at him knowingly and slowly took him into her hands his mind was wiped clean of every seduction method he knew. She gently stroked up and down his cock increasing speed and pressure with every stroke. "Fuck, Freckles, if ya don't stop soon there won't be another round" he got out between clenched teeth. She smiled at him again and licked her lips. He kissed her hard and needy, his tongue entering her wet mouth without asking for permission. He needed to do something. But he found himself immobile when she stroked his neither regions even harder. Suddenly she broke the kiss and whispered into his ear: "You know Cowboy, this already is round 2." Hell, that woman was nearly killing him now, but he only saw her get down on her knees in front of him. No, that's not possible, surely she wasn't…..she was. She began slowly, letting her slick tongue lick circles over his head. She let one of her hands remain on his shaft and never stopped stroking him softly. Damn it, he wanted her to go fast and hard, wanted the relief, wanted to come in her hands, or her mouth, for that matter, but she teased him to a level of impossibility. _

Sawyer felt his pulse quicken at the memory repeating in his head. He took a few deep breaths and tried to think of something less sexy. Hurley. Hurley walking around the beach calling everyone "Dude". Yes, Hurley was safe territory, not sexy AT ALL. Hurley would just walk around and laugh and make people happy. He would make Kate happy. Kate would smile at him. She would wear a dress, exposing way too much. Sawyer would undress her and…."Damn it!" he yelled at himself. Not even Jumbotron was able to keep his mind off her. He needed to do something about that. When he met her he just thought about it as a nice way to spend the endless hours before his flight left L.A. But she turned out to be the best fuck he ever had. Until he had watched her sleep. That moment in the hotel room it had dawned upon him. She was dangerous to him in so many ways. Best not see her ever again. That had been his plan. But they'd happened to be on the same plane to Sydney and that was a very long flight, indeed.

"_Ever done it in the plane bathroom, Freckles?" He had written it on a napkin and had handed it over to one of the flight attendants, asking her to hand it over to the brunette a few seats away from him. Kate had shot him a suspicious look when she got the napkin but when she had read what it said she smiled to herself. __Slowly Sawyer got up from his seat and made his way to the small bathroom. He waited inside alone for a few moments but not long after he had entered the claustrophobic cubicle someone opened it slowly and soon Kate was standing close to him inside the bathroom. She was biting her lower lip and looked even sexier than a few hours earlier. He couldn't hold back any longer. They were both fully dressed and in an airplane bathroom but within seconds he was aroused and hard. He quickly lifted her onto the small sink and nudged his hips between her legs, his groin pressing hard against her center. Frantically he shoved her top over her head and kissed her neck while his hands started unzipping her jeans. Kate did the same to his denims and unbuttoned his shirt. He heard her breath against his ear and couldn't control himself any more. This wasn't going to be very comfortable for either of them but hell, he needed to fuck her hard right now. He didn't even bother unhooking her bra since his cock was already begging for release. Kate shoved his jeans down to his hips and began stroking his rock hard cock in fast motions. "Damn it, woman…" he groaned into her hair. He let his hands wander inside her panties and teased her clit for a few seconds. "Oh my God…" was all she could mouth when he slid one of his long fingers inside her. He found her hot and wet and more than ready for him. He couldn't hold back any longer so he took her hands away from his cock and quickly entered her until he was fully inside her. Kate gasped in awe. "Fuck" she said barely audible when he looked her in her green eyes. _

Sawyer looked down his body and on the spot between his legs. Not again. She wasn't even here. Wasn't looking at him, talking to him, touching him. Maybe she was miles away doing whatever she liked best and she still could make him hard just like that. "Unbelievable" he muttered. He stopped walking, closed his eyes and took deep breaths hoping it might help him cool down a little. But it didn't. He really couldn't walk around camp like that so he decided to hide in the jungle and maybe "help himself" out a little. Do not waste, right? He wanted to make sure nobody heard him doing the naughty so he walked at a fast pace and as far away as he could. Finally he found a spot that seemed remote enough and he leaned against a tree and closed his eyes. Kate. Freckles. Thinking of her soft skin, her dark curls, the way she licked her lips when she was flirting with him. It made him even more aroused and he slowly opened the top button of his jeans and unzipped it in one motion. He let his hand wander inside his boxers and began stroking himself. "God, Kate…..yes, harder, suck my dick, baby….". He was close, he could feel it. In his mind Kate was doing all sorts of things to him. Sucking him, stroking him, riding him. Always looking at him, saying his name all over again. Not Sawyer, his real name. And it made him harder and harder until he was stroking his cock frantically and he came hot and fast in his own hand.

After a few minutes he had recovered a bit and put his pants back on. He looked down his pants. Well, in the real world someone might see the spots but his denims were dirty anyway so he didn't care. He was about to go back to camp and resume his search for Kate when he saw something in the distance. It was a book. It lay on the jungle ground in the middle of nowhere. He strode towards it but coming nearer he saw a giant hole in the ground. Looking inside he saw her. Kate. What the hell was she doing here and how did she get in there? But he couldn't help but smile at the way she was sitting there. Like someone had just stolen her favorite doll. "Hey there, Freckles, found yourself a rabbit hole to hide in?" He flashed her a grin showing his dimples but Kate didn't look happy at all. "I do hope for your sake that you didn't do what I think you were doing!" she yelled at him. Her voice was angry and disgusted at the same time but sexy nonetheless. He looked at her as if he didn't know what she meant. "Oh c'mon, Freckles, I'm innocent!" If looks could kill he'd be dead. "Oh come on Sawyer, you were jerking off over there and I heard you groan my name!"

Sawyer licked his lips. Somehow it turned him on again that she had heard it. "Well, feel free to do it yourself next time, Freckles!" He knew, that if she hadn't been in that hole she'd have hit him hard in the stomach – or elsewhere. After this morning he had wanted to mend fences with her, wanted to make up. Wanted to…hell he didn't even know what exactly he wanted but he knew he couldn't stand her being angry at him like that. But seeing her in that hole, helpless and trapped, he couldn't help his evil side. He saw her take a few deep breaths and then she said: "Sawyer, please, help me get out."

He nodded. She had a point. He couldn't let her rot in a hole in the ground. "I'll go get a rope or something, Freckles" he said and already he was on his way. After a few minutes her returned with something resembling a rope and put it down the hole. She grabbed it and started to climb out. When she was almost out the rope almost got torn apart which caused Sawyer to trip and lose balance. Still holding the rope he fell into the hole. On top of Kate.


	4. You gotta dig deep

_**Chapter 4 – You gotta dig deep**_

_He was slowly moving himself atop of her. He nudged her legs apart with his own and came down for a hot kiss._ _Kate moaned softly as he let his tongue slide in and out of her mouth so teasingly. He let his hands slide under her thin shirt and left tickles all over her skin. He desperately wanted to take it slow this time. Their previous encounters had always been fast and needy, full of passion and a fire that needed immediate release. But right now he wanted to enjoy this. Wanted to tease her until she begged him for more. He wanted to get to know every inch of her beautiful body. He wanted to know what could make her scream and tense around him. Sawyer didn't know why it was like that. A few days ago, back at the airport, he had been very content with sleeping with just another beautiful girl. But this woman made something inside him churn whenever she did as much as look at him with her green eyes. He wanted to find out what it was. Slowly she began to work on the button of his denims but he wouldn't let her and took her hands in his, raising them over her head and pinning them down against the bed."Not fair…" she said, her voice full of desire. Sawyer knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted him to take her fast and hard, making her gasp as he expertly entered her and thrust into her faster and harder, but he knew he wouldn't give her that tonight. Or at least not yet. He smirked at her and flashed her a grin. "Cowboys don't need playin' fair, Freckles". He silenced her with another deep and wet kiss but stopped to whisper in her right ear: "Close your eyes and don't fight it, Sweetheart". He felt her stiffen under his weight and smiled to himself. Tonight he would mark her as he'd never done before. He would wretch her for any other man. He would explore every inch of her skin. He would touch her, kiss her, lick her and he hated himself for it. Whenever he had done these things to a woman it was because he got something in return. Money. But he didn't even know the dark haired beauty beneath him. He knew her name was Kate but that was about it. And he certainly didn't get anything in return, except for her smile when she lay back and slowly let the tension fall from her body. Her smile was enough for him…..for now._

"Fuck" Kate hissed when Sawyer fell on top of her and painfully pinned her to the ground. "Well, hi yourself, Freckles," he said releasing her from his weight and getting up. He would've loved to lie on her a bit longer, it brought the most pleasant memories back, but the look in her eyes was beyond pissed off. Kate was still sitting on the more than uncomfortable looking ground rubbing her head and looked as if she had been beaten up. Sawyer felt a twinge of pain. He had landed on her from a quite a height and hadn't even bothered asking her if she was okay. He really should try harder. "Damn it" he thought to himself "I'm slowly becoming like the doc." But the way Kate looked at that moment brought his softer side back to the surface. He kneeled beside her and asked: "You okay, Freckles?"

She shot him an angry look. "What, now after you've almost killed me, and my I just mention "again", now you ask me if I'm okay? A little late, don't you think?" The sarcasm in her voice bothered Sawyer a bit. He wondered just when she became so bitter. Back in Australia she was light, glowing, girlish and always up for a little delight. But the woman next to him wasn't that person anymore. She was angry and depressed, both features he hadn't seen in her before. He wondered what had caused the changes in her. Maybe it was the general fear that they might all die on this island, but if he were being honest, he didn't take her for the fearful kind of girl. After all, she knew how to defend herself with sticks, fists or guns. No, she certainly wasn't afraid of death. It must be something else he thought and he was dying to find out.

Suddenly Kate's voice pierced through his thoughts. "Sawyer? Hello? I can't read your mind, you know! You have to say the words not only think them!" Fuck. She really was angry now. He considered his options and decided to turn on the charm. "Come on, Freckles, I was just admiring the view, can't punish me for that, can ya?" He grinned at her which made his dimples even more visible and he saw a weak smile appear on Kate's face. "You think you can get us out?" she asked with evident hope in her voice. Sawyer looked around. That was really some kind of hole, he thought. He touched the "walls" around him and found them extremely unstable and muddy. No wonder Kate didn't manage to get out herself, however experienced she might be with that kind of stuff.

"They way I see it, Freckles, we gotta wait til the dirty dozen decides to go on another boar hunt" he said, not sure whether he was annoyed because he would've to stay in that dirty hole for quite some time or happy, because he could do so with her. He decided on the latter, not quite managing to suppress a smile. Kate sighed heavily and closed her eyes. "Well, this morning we didn't have much boar left so probably they'll go on the hunt tomorrow." Sawyer sat down across from her, he didn't want to piss her off any more and thought it better to take it slow.

"A steak? Seriously? After weeks on this island you miss steak the most?" Kate looked at him surprised. "Well, Freckles, I'm a guy, I need something decent to eat, you know. So what about you? What food do you miss the most?" Kate looked back on the ground and thought about her answer for a few moments. She licked her lips pensively, which, had Sawyer seen it, would've made him hard on the spot. "Chocolate" she said determinedly. He looked at her in awe. "Didn't take you for the chocolate kind a girl, Freckles". She smiled at him. He knew he was slowly getting through to her. She always tried to play all tough with him and desperately wanted to keep him away from her but he had his tricks and tonight he was going to use them. "So, tell me, Freckles, what kind of chocolate?" She closed her eyes and sighed. She obviously was thinking about how it felt when hot chocolate ran down her throat, how melted chocolate felt on her lips when she licked it off. It drove him wild, but he had to wait a little longer. "Cake frosting. It's soft and you can just put it on your fingers and slowly lick it off and when it touches your tongue it's like, I dunno, it's….." She licked her lips again and this time Sawyer saw it. He immediately felt the effect it had to his neither regions. He took a deep breath and looking at her found her looking back. He smiled one of his cocky smiles at her and saw Kate slowly getting up and crawling towards him.

She came closer and closer never breaking eye contact. Sawyer felt his body tense at her proximity. He wondered what she was about to do. When he felt her hot breath on his ear he knew. "It's like having sex, Sawyer. Chocolate, I mean. It's bittersweet, it melts on your tongue you want it everywhere, you want the taste to surround you, fulfill you. It's like sex with you, Sawyer." Her voice was a lot deeper than usually and it made Sawyer shift uncomfortably.

Kate looked back into his eyes and he knew he had to take the chance. Urgently he let his lips touch hers and with his right hand, pulled her close to him, causing her to sit on his lap. Before he could deepen the kiss Kate gasped. She must've felt how hard he already was and it made him smile inwardly. Let her know she could do that to him. Sawyer now let his tongue slide into her mouth, teasing hers with circles and darts which caused Kate to moan deep in her throat. She huddled herself even closer to his chest, her already hard nipples slightly touching his chest. God he loved her nipples. Small and erect when he licked them with his tongue, when he circled them with his fingers until he was sure they would explode like volcanoes. But they were still fully dressed, so he had to do something about that. He let his hands wander to her neck and began unbuttoning her shirt. "God, Kate, I want you…." He had her shirt open in no time and tossed it behind her to the ground. He quickly unhooked her bra and let it fall to the ground next to him. Kate looked at him licking her lips, again, making is cock even harder. He pulled her hard against his erection causing her to groan and lull her head back in the first steps of ecstasy. He bit her neck which made her press her finger nails into his shoulders in pain. She shot him a look, yet again. "Thought dogs that bark don't bite?" she said hoarsely. He smiled at her. "You have no idea, Freckles!" He was about to kiss her again when she pushed his back hard against the wall. She wanted to be in charge again. "Fine, no need to get angry, Sweetheart!" Kate began unbuttoning his shirt frantically, desperately wanting to feel his naked skin under her hands.

She let her hands touch his stomach, testing every tensed muscle and smiling at the view she was enjoying. Sawyer's pulse had already quickened to the impossible and he knew, if she didn't do it a little faster he would come that very moment. But Kate didn't care. She wanted to torture him the way he had tortured her before. She lowered her head and started licking his nipples at the same time grinding her hot center against his hard dick rubbing her hips hard against it. He couldn't take anymore and with one hard movement had her down on the ground beneath him. "Ouch" she said, but Sawyer didn't care. He started kissing her neck leaving hot, wet traces on his way downwards. He touched her breasts, massaging them and licking her already taut nipples at the same time and he knew she was as much aroused as he was. He needed to see how aroused she was, wanted to taste it. His mouth never leaving her breasts he started unzipping her jeans and in a fast movement both her denims and her black panties were down her legs and on the ground. He nudged her legs apart with his gaining better access to her hot and wet core. Kate moaned in pleasure moving her hands to his belt working hard to get him undressed as fast as she could.

Sawyer let one of his hands move downwards brushing her soft skin along the way. How her skin could still be so soft after all these days on Craphole Island, he didn't understand. Kate spread her legs a bit further to grant easier access for him. He smiled at that. She wanted it and he knew it. He let his hand slowly caress her labia finding her more than ready for him. She was hot and oh so wet, it felt almost painful. He continued his penetration steadily, slowly inserting one long finger into her pushing it in and pulling back out. Kate moaned in pleasure. "God, Sawyer…." She now had is fly open and her right hand was soon inside his boxers stroking him first softly then with a speed and power it almost made him come into her small hands. "Fuck, Kate, if you don't stop…." She smiled at him. Damn, that woman knew too well what she could do to him. He really needed t do something about that, but not now.

Kate's movements around his cock became faster with the second and he moved his other hand down to hers to slow her down. "Don't want to ruin the finale, do ya?" he whispered into her ear. He resumed his movements with his other hand, inserting another finger into her hot pussy, at the same time using his thumb to rub her clit causing it to harden. He felt her tighten around his hand and her body started to shiver as the first small waves of pleasure ran over her. "Sawyer…..I want you to….." Kate didn't have the power to end her sentence but he damn well knew she wanted him to lick her and suck at her clit. He pulled out his fingers and shifted his position so that his head was between her legs. His tongue darted forward in a quick movement and Kate groaned again. Louder this time. He knew she was getting closer. He let his tongue go where his thumb had been earlier, slowly, almost tentatively licking her hard clit. Kate was already writhing her hips and breathing heavily. He couldn't hold back anymore. With one quick movement he got up on his knees, pushed his denims down and embedded his rock hard cock fully into her. He held still for a moment looking into her eyes, slowly lowering himself on her. She had opened her eyes in shock, looking at him.

He knew she had wanted to be in charge here, but for now, he didn't grant her this joy. When the shock in her eyes had changed to apprehension Sawyer began to move. He pulled his dick almost fully back out again leaving her empty and needy but pushed fully back in with a quick thrust His hips began to move faster and Kate slung her legs up around his waist to grant an even dirtier penetration. Sawyer hold her hips steady fucking her with hard thrusts never breaking their eye contact. She was close, he could feel it, her whole body was tensing around him, her fingernails painfully grabbing his shoulders and her legs trying to pull him even closer. They didn't manage to move as one, Kate's hips steadily pinned to the ground and Sawyer's hard and brutal thrusts letting nothing destroy his rhythm. "Fuck me Sawyer, fuck me!" Kate suddenly said very clearly. It almost drove him over the edge. He bent his dead down for a deep and longing kiss, torturing her tongue with his and increased the speed of his thrusts to an almost impossible level. "That's how you want it, Kate?"

Kate managed a saucy smile and slightly shook her head. "Harder, Sawyer…." It drove him over the edge and he lost control. He thrust into her again and again. Harder and more urgent with each thrust until he couldn't hold back any longer and came hot and fast taking her with him. Kate curled her feet, dug her nails hard into his back and screamed in pleasure. "Fuck, Sawyer…." Sawyer groaned one last time.

They both didn't move for a few minutes, breathing heavily on each other and savoring as much of the moment as possible. Sawyer was still inside her, enjoying the feeling of closeness. Kate finally moved her head a little kissing him softly on his lips and sighing sweetly. She let her hands caress his back in soft and slow movements and looked at him her green eyes piercing his and smiled. When Sawyer wanted to kiss her she moved her head to the side and softly kissed his earlobe. He moaned. "Sawyer, I told you, just like chocolate…"


	5. Runaway

**Chapter 5 - Runaway**

_Kate woke up and felt exhausted. __All her muscles were sore and she could still feel this vibrant sensation between her legs. Last night had been incredible. She had never felt like this before. Never has anyone taken his time like Sawyer had. Her previous lovers had either only their own satisfaction on their minds or weren't sophisticated enough to please her in such a way. Sawyer was, though. He had taken his time and had slowly and painfully touched literally every part of her body. He had kissed, licked, touched and left fiery traces all over her skin. He had pinned her hands and left her immobile. She had weakly tried to fight it, but she had known from the beginning that she couldn't ever say no to him. _

_She hadn't intended to meet him ever again after leaving the plane in Sydney. She had made a deal with herself that it was a once only thing, or twice, if she counted the quick, hot encounter in the plane. But when she had arrived at the motel she had been planning to stay at, she had found a note in her pocket. A phone number, that was all. She'd known from the beginning that it was Sawyer's. She'd never wanted to call him. Never ever. But one night she'd found herself longing for something she didn't know and after a few drinks she'd called him._

_And now here she was lying in his arms in an exquisite hotel room. He was lying behind her and had his left arm tight around her waist pulling her close to his chest. She felt his breath on her neck and shivered. She knew that he was dangerous for her so she had decided to leave straight afterwards. She had wanted to use him to sate something deep inside her. Something she hadn't thought possible. But as she'd been lying in his arms, satisfied and exhausted she didn't have the strength to do as much as get up, let alone leave and drive through the whole town to get to her motel. _

_And now after a good night's sleep she lay awake in his arms and didn't know what to do. She wanted to run, she knew she should run but her body didn't let her. The warmth coming from his body soothed her and made her feel whole. She felt herself longing for his touch again, wanting to stay here forever in his embrace. Kate closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. She felt home. She felt cared for. She felt loved._

"_What?" she suddenly asked herself. Kate opened her eyes in shock. No, this couldn't be, she couldn't fall for him. She wouldn't fall for him. He was just a stranger. She didn't know him and her life style didn't allow her to, anyway. Reality came as a shock to her. She was here for a reason. She was on the run. Running had always been her best companion and she couldn't change anything about it. She slowly wriggled herself free of him, trying not to wake him. She got up from the bed and collected her clothes, slowly putting each item on. When she was fully dressed she dared another look at him. Fuck, he was sexy. His tanned skin, the defined muscles, the way his hair hung into his face, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath he took. Kate closed her eyes again and shook her head trying to get him out of her mind. _

"_Goodbye Sawyer" she whispered as she closed the door behind her._

Kate woke up. She felt exhausted. Her whole body was aching and she already felt the bruises on her back and her hips. When she looked down she saw her whole body dirty with mud. Sawyer had his arm tight around her and was still breathing soundly. She felt weak. She had done it again. She had surrendered to him again. She didn't know how he had so much power over her will, he simply did. And Kate hated herself for being so weak. She wanted to get away from his touch and dress. It was already dawning and soon someone would surely be on boar hunt and rescue them. When she wanted to shove Sawyer's arm away he woke up.

"Mornin', Freckles, what are you doin'?" he growled. He held her tight and stopped her from getting away from his embrace. Kate swallowed hard. "We need to dress, Sawyer, they will soon come and I don't exactly like the idea of Locke finding me naked." Her voice was serious and determined but Sawyer didn't hear it. "Well, Freckles, gotta tell ya, I'd just love the idea of you being naked and as long as I see it I don't care who else does." His voice was still hoarse and he breathed warm against her neck. He placed one hot kiss on the soft skin right behind her ear and let his left hand softly touch her stomach. Kate desperately tried to get away from him, to stop his hands from touching her but Sawyer wouldn't let her. Instead he kissed her neck again and again softly moaning into her ear and pressing his hips against her rear end. She felt his breath quicken and his hands move up to her breasts squeezing them gently. She couldn't deny that the heat was gradually taking her with him and she closed her eyes again. Sawyer must've felt her body relax because he took the chance and turned her around so she had to face him. He firmly grabbed her ass and ground her hips against his already hardening cock. Kate let out a soft moan and Sawyer finally kissed her. He wasn't gentle, he immediately entered her mouth with his tongue and explored dominantly. Kate just lay there, her hands softly on his forearms letting him do whatever he wanted to do with or to her. She was still pondering whether this was a good idea or not but all reason slowly faded away as another cloud of pleaser surrounded her as Sawyer had moved one of his hands between her legs and was stroking her inner thighs.

Kate broke the kiss. "Sawyer…" she moaned but he didn't want to hear anything and just said: "Freckles, whatever you gotta say, say it later". As he attempted to kiss her hard and fast yet again she put her hand between them and stared him in the eyes. She took her time to examine them. Every green hint in his blue depths. She saw passion there, want and need, strength, determination and hurt from his memories she couldn't understand. But as she looked deeper she saw something else. Something uncertain, something new, something he surely didn't know was there.

Kate felt fear growing in her stomach. She hated being not in control and whatever it was that she saw in Sawyer's eyes scared the shit out of her. But she wasn't ready to admit to something she didn't understand and desperately tried to gain some of her confidence and control back. She swallowed and stared him down. "Sawyer, get dressed." Her tone was hard, clear and determined and when she'd said it she finally managed to free herself of his hold and got up to get her clothes. Sawyer looked pissed.

"What, Freckles? You're the moody, mopy type today?" Kate didn't dare look at him and just hissed: "Shut up." She quickly dressed and bound her hair together in a loose bun. Reluctantly Sawyer got up as well but didn't bother getting dressed. Instead he walked towards Kate reaching for her hips and saying: "Come one, Freckles, a little morning delight wouldn't be too bad, now would it?" Kate shoved him away and he almost stumbled. "Hell, Freckles, what's wrong with you?" he hissed at her. Kate gave him an angry look but he only felt challenged by that and came near her again this time instantly kissing her. Kate fought him and tried to get free using her hands and arms but he was way to strong and tall for her so she didn't succeed. Sawyer had her pinned against the wall again and was beginning to kiss her neck, still holding her hard and pinning her immobile.

Kate's rage and anger grew. "Sawyer, let go of me!" "Ah, come on, Freckles, we both know you want it." Sawyer's voice was husky and it sounded so much like an invitation but Kate's temper decided against him. With all her force she kicked her right knee right in the spot between his legs. Sawyer flinched in pain. "Fuck!" He turned away from her and almost fell down. His face was the picture of serious pain and Kate had almost felt sorry but she still thought he deserved no better. He looked at her angrily. "Damn it, Kate….what did you do that for?" His voice was pitchy and angry but Kate didn't care. She sat down on the ground and crossed her arms. "Just shut up, Sawyer!"

After a few minutes he managed to get up and collected his clothes from the ground and got dressed. He sat down opposite of Kate and gave her an angry and threatening look. "Don't even try Sawyer, I'm not apologizing. I told you to let go and you didn't. Guess you got what you deserve" Kate said and looked at him. His look was getting angrier by the minute. "Well, Kate, next time let me decide myself what I deserve!" Kate couldn't believe what he'd just said. He couldn't be that much of an asshole, could he?

"Oh come on, Sawyer, don't blame it on me that you don't know where your territory ends" Kate answered, her voice full of sarcasm and anger.

"Well, there ain't anyone else to blame for almost castrating me!"

"If you had some self control, Sawyer, I wouldn't have had to do it."

"Me? You talking about my self control here, Freckles? If I remember correctly it was you who literally jumped me last night"

Kate swallowed. He had a point. She did indeed jump him. She couldn't explain how she had lost control like that. She had never wanted to see him again. And yet here she was on a desert island with him with too much time left for stupid things to be done. Very stupid things. Very stupid yet pleasurable things. Very stupid yet extremely pleasurable and satisfying things. Kate bit her lower lip. She needed to focus. And she needed to get away from Sawyer.

"Not gonna happen again, Tex" she said coolly.

Sawyer was about to say "We'll see about that, Freckles" when they heard a shot.

Both instantly got to their feet and looked up. Soon a second shot could be heard and they were both sure that it was Locke hunting for boar.

"Locke? We're here! We're trapped! Locke!" Kate screamed. Soon Sawyer joined her having decided that she was at least right about this one. After a few minutes Locke appeared above them and smiled weakly.

"Well, seems like I caught something."

He willingly helped them both out and together the three of them made their way back to the beach. Sawyer and Kate didn't talk at all and Locke wasn't much of a talker himself so their journey was extremely quiet but neither did mind.

Once at the beach Kate went straight to her tent. She got her backpack and packed some fresh clothes and made her way to the waterfalls to take a shower.

When she arrived at the falls and the pool she had once found on a track for some fruit she was happy that she hadn't told anyone about it. She let her belongings fall to the ground and slowly undressed except for her black panties and her off-white bra. She stepped into the pool and tested the temperature of the water with her hands. It was a bit chilly but she was looking forward to washing the night off of her. She dove into the pool and swam to the waterfall. Carefully Kate climbed the few rocks and walked under the crushing water. It was even colder than the pool and sent shivers down her whole body. She let her hands run through her hair trying to get all the mud out of it. After 5 long minutes she stepped away from the water and looked down her body and examined it. She had bruises on her wrists from where Sawyer had held and pinned her. She had bruises on her hips and her inner thighs where he had frantically and forcefully pushed against and with her.

Kate sighed. She enjoyed sex with Sawyer. It had something elemental about it. It was like a primal need that had to be satisfied and satisfied it always was. When he touched her it didn't feel wrong and how and where he kissed and touched her didn't feel wrong, either. It felt glorious. It felt right, like she'd been made only for him. She didn't mind the bruises, it was a small price to pay for how she felt when he kissed her longingly. Had she been a teenager she easily would've fallen for the Southerner. But Kate being a runaway and a murderer and Sawyer being, well, Sawyer, she couldn't give in to any feelings of that kind. She had to talk to him. She had to make clear that she would never ever sleep with him again. That she had only had a few weak moments and that it would be a big mistake to do it again. She shook her head. He would never understand. He would smile at her again and she would give in.

"Damn it, Kate, focus." She was trying to convince herself to think clearly again. Sawyer was everywhere. He had found his way into her mind and however hard she tried she couldn't get him off her mind. She was still angry at him for how he had behaved this morning, but the longing for his kiss overwhelmed her yet again. She let her hands touch her inner thighs where they were blue and violet from bruising. He had touched her there and she missed it.

Suddenly a loud splash brought Kate back to reality. She looked around and saw someone diving in the pool and some clothes carelessly deposited on the waterside. The person dove through the whole pool in one stroke and finally surfaced close to where she was standing. It was Sawyer.

Kate was about to say something but he shook his head. "Don't talk, Freckles. Just let me talk for once." His voice was calm and she sensed earnest in it so she nodded and sat herself down on the rock a few feet above him. Sawyer remained standing where he was and took a deep breath.

"Listen, Freckles, I'm sorry about earlier, didn't mean to make you do somethin' you weren't up for."

Kate was stunned. Here was Sawyer, the most arrogant and righteous person she'd ever met and he was apologizing. To her. She didn't know what to make out of it. He looked sorry, his eyes were firmly focused on hers and there was not a single sign of mock on his face. "Why?" was all she managed with her surprised yet weak voice.

"Why am I sorry or why did I make advances this mornin'?" Sawyer asked. Kate smiled at him. "Both, I guess" she said finally. He liked his lips and shot her a grin but his face turned serious after a few seconds. "Well, Freckles, I'm sorry because it ain't easy not giving a shit about you and hell, I just can't keep my hands off you, Cupcake." Kate swallowed hard. For once in her life she knew it. She knew she was falling for him so hard it hurt. And she knew she could do whatever she wanted, it wouldn't change. She would let him hurt her, cheat on her, leave her and she would always be waiting for him, forgiving him, loving him. She felt immobile. Her whole world seemed to shatter around her. This was so not what she wanted or needed. There were so many things that spoke against Sawyer. She didn't know him, he didn't know her, they both seemed to be incapable of having a normal relationship. Her list was long but Sawyer was still looking at her with his blue eyes urging her to answer. His look turned concerned when she felt a few single tears run down her cheeks.

"Kate, you okay?" Sawyer asked with concern. Kate wiped her tears away and looked at him. She hated admitting that she was weak and she couldn't find the words to explain what had just processed in her mind so she just shook her head. Sawyer immediately got out of the water and climbed up to the waterfall and kneeled down beside her. He didn't dare touch her so he just sat there waiting for Kate to say something. She was still staring down into the pool her eyes still red and filled with tears not knowing where they originated from.

"Freckles, look at me. Whatever it is, it's okay." Sawyer's voice was warm and so unlike him. Kate turned her head and looked at him. His blues eyes were piercing and melted her heart. Kate raised her hand and softly touched his cheek. She looked into his eyes again searching for a reason to stop but there was none. Unexpected for both of them Kate leaned forward and kissed him. It was like no other kiss they had shared before. It was gentle and soft. At first Kate let only brush his lips gently and without force but soon she let her tongue part his lips and enter his mouth to softly explore it. Sawyer let out a groan and gave in to her kiss. He began to move his tongue against hers with experienced ease. Kate felt her heartbeat quicken and drew away from Sawyer and gasped.

He looked at her face searchingly. "Freckles, come on, let's go back to the beach, you look like you're freezing." Kate wondered where he was hiding this side of him all the time. His eyes were soft and loving and he seemed to care. "I don't want to go back, Sawyer. I want to stay here with you." She kissed him again but this time with a certain urgency to it. Sawyer broke the kiss and held her away from him. "Thought you decided sex with me is not a good idea, Freckles?" She smiled at him and knew he wouldn't understand what she was about to say but she couldn't care less. "I'm not having sex with you Sawyer!" She kissed him again letting her tongue in his mouth again and moved closer to him her hands on his chest. When she heard him groan deep in his throat again she knew he had given in and so she moved yet a little closer to him and positioned herself on his lap. She let her hands touch his nipples and circle them slowly. He groaned again and Kate had to smile.

At least it seemed as if he had problems focusing when they were together as well. Sawyer rested his hands on Kate's hips and carefully pressed her closer to his groin. Kate sighed as she felt his growing erection against her center. He must have felt her surprise at how fast she could make him hard and he smiled at her. "You do this to me, Freckles." Kate began tracing little kisses on his neck and moved a little letting her legs wind around his waist and pressed her breasts against his chest. Sawyer let his hands touch her bare and still wet back and slowly worked to open her bra. He let it fall down on the ground and let his back bend down as well causing Kate to lie on top of him. Her wet curls fell into her face and tickled his. He touched her cheek and saw the mischievous look in her eyes. She kissed her way down his chest and stopped when she reached his boxers. They were wet and clung to his erection like a second skin. She deliberately tugged them downwards until he was lying there naked and fully exposed to her view. She crawled back atop him and sat down on his thighs his cock close to her waiting heat. Slowly she let her hands touch the head of his cock and massaged the tip. Sawyer closed his eyes in agonizing pleasure and said her name with a pleading voice. Kate took this as a sign and let one of her hands fully embrace his arousal. In slow and expert strokes she made him even harder and close to climax. His cock was throbbing with heat and want for release and she desperately wanted to feel him inside of her but first she wanted to pleasure him more silently thanking him for all the pleasure he'd given her before. She lowered her head and let her tongue touch and her lips kiss where her hands had been moments earlier.

Kate let her mouth sink down and took as much of him inside of her mouth as she could. She retreated and tortured his tip again just to sink down on him again. Her hands were both still at the base never ceasing their sweet little torture. Kate repeated her torment a few more times when she felt Sawyer's hands on hear hair pulling her up so that she had to look him in the eyes. "Lie down, Freckles" Sawyer said hoarsely and Kate obliged willingly pressing her back against the wet ground. Sawyer got up from his position and moved atop her supporting himself with his arms and slowly nudging her legs apart with his. Kate still had her black panties on and he let one of his hands touch the soft fabric and caused her to moan. He kneeled between her open legs and worked on her panties trying to get them off while kissing her gently. He let go of her lips for just a moment to pull the only barrier left between them down her legs.

Coming back up he placed little wet kisses on her stomach and caressed her taut nipples until she arched her back to give him better access. "Sawyer, please…" she begged. He moved his head to hers and kissed her lips. At the same time he let one of his hands move between her legs and explored her hot center and found her more than ready for him. He positioned himself at her entrance and looked again into her eyes. Kate wanted to let him know she wanted this. She let her right hand run down his back and let it rest on the small of his back. She applied a little pressure which was enough reason for Sawyer slip inside of her. He embedded himself fully and Kate grasped his shoulders forcefully. At first he didn't move but only looked at her. Kate came up for a kiss and he began to move slowly.

His movements were gentle and passionate and took Kate far away. She forgot her surroundings, her problems, their quarrel from earlier. He moved in and out of her with ease savoring every moment of this. Kate felt herself tighten and wrapped her legs around his waist. She wanted him closer, impossibly close. She wanted him to dive into her, to take her and shatter her until she screamed in pleasure and in pain and in oblivion. She felt him inside of her, moving faster and more desperately. He was groaning against her ear and she felt the first waves of pleasure coming to her. Sawyer let his right hand down between their bodies and between her legs. He applied a little pressure on her clit making it harder and more taut with every stroke. Kate grabbed his shoulders even harder as he was moving frantically now. "God, Kate, you're, you're…." His words left him as he felt Kate climax and let her take him with her. She arched her back in pleasure and moaned his name against his ear. She felt him explode hot and wet inside of her as he too groaned her name huskily.

They lay entwined like this for several minutes, neither wanting the moment to fade. Kate was still breathing heavily when Sawyer rolled off of her. She was afraid he might just dress and leave her naked and vulnerable but to her surprise he didn't. He cuddled next to her and pressed his chest against her back his left hand around her body holding her close. It was comforting for both and for a moment the world stood still and neither dared to ask or question what had just happened. Kate knew something had changed. This wasn't like their encounters had been before. Before it had been about pleasure, about satisfaction about denying and forgetting. But this time it wasn't about sex, it wasn't hasty or forceful, it was gentle and unexpected so. This wasn't sex, this was making love. And it scared Kate to death.


	6. Unwanted

**Chapter 6**** - Unwanted**

_Kate was runnin__g. She was confused and scared. She was somehow unable to realize what had just happened. The pictures just kept repeating in her inner eye. She had boarded the plane in Sydney with the Marshal. He had handcuffed her and she'd felt terrible during the whole flight. It hadn't been because she'd got caught but because everyone could see. She had never been one to over socialize but during that whole flight she felt forced to do so. She hadn't needed to talk to anyone, to tell someone her story or laugh at jokes she didn't find funny, but being so close to so many people had scared her. _

_But after a few hours something had happened. It had started like a normal t__iny turbulence. Nothing special, nothing to worry about. But suddenly all had turned to black and it all had happened too fast to understand. The plane had crashed on a desert island somewhere in the south pacific. Kate didn't know where she was, she didn't know what to do and it all seemed so surreal she was still hoping to wake up. She remembered waking up in the sand. All around her people were screaming and parts of the plane were crashed on the beach. It was a hazard. Everyone seemed to go crazy and she felt helpless, vulnerable, a feeling she had stored away deep inside her such a long time ago but it was back. She needed to breathe._

_She couldn't stay there any longer so she had decided to run away from the turmoil. Ru__nning through the people and the plane parts she suddenly saw a familiar face. He was smoking a cigarette and had a look on his face as if he was about to say: "Damn lady, I didn't order apple pie." Kate stopped on her heels. Sawyer. How the hell did he end up on the same damn plane with her? What are the odds, huh? Kate felt petrified. She had left him in that hotel room without a goodbye and now here he was standing only a few feet away from her on a damned desert island. When she was about to turn around he suddenly looked at her. He was too far away to talk to him but had he been close enough his words wouldn't have been very nice._

Kate was cold. Although the water on her body had almost completely dried off her hair was still soaking wet. The rock under her felt like an iceberg and she desperately longed for a blanket and some clothes. Sawyer must've felt her shivers because he held her even closer to his chest. Kate wanted to get up, dress and cuddle up in her bed but she feared the moments she would have to endure until she got to her tent. They would have to talk about what had just happened. And how could she talk about it if she didn't understand it herself?

Maybe if she fell asleep she would wake up to find everything in place. But it was so cold she couldn't sleep. She felt Sawyer's breath on the sensitive skin right behind her ear. It was warm and strangely enough she didn't mind. She'd never been the type to cuddle after sex but right now all she wanted was to feel the warmth of his breath, the warmth that strangely enough came from his body, to surround her fully and warm her up. Hell, where did these sentimental feelings come from? Kate had never been so unsure of herself before. What to say to him? What to do? She didn't know no matter how hard she tried to figure it out.

"Freckles, you cold?" Sawyer's voice broke the almost unbearable silence and brought her back to reality. She was afraid that her trembling voice might betray her so she just nodded to let him know. Slowly Sawyer let go of her and got up to look for his boxers and Kate's underwear. Kate moved into a sitting position and pulled her knees close to her chest and held them with her arms. When Sawyer came back with the few garments of clothing she couldn't look up to him. He was worried about her so he got down beside her and searched her face. "Hey Freckles, don't worry, it's okay." His voice was so soft like never before. She felt his stare on her skin. It was slowly burning holes into her defense. Persistent stares that forced her to let down the wall she was desperately trying to build. "Hey, Freckles, look at me. You okay?"

Kate couldn't bear it any longer and looked at him. Mistake. Big Mistake. His eyes weren't angry nor did he look as if he was expecting something, his eyes were just full of a feeling Kate couldn't determine. It wasn't anger or annoyance or mock, as she would've expected, it was gentle and caring and damn, she'd seen that look on someone else before. She wanted to dive into his eyes and wrap herself with this feeling. She wanted to let him know, wanted to explain to him what she couldn't explain to herself, wanted to show him what he did to her, what his body did to hers. Kate kept staring at him all the while but didn't say a thing. It was Sawyer's hoarse voice that finally broke the silence.

"Come on Freckles, we'll head back to the beach. I'll even walk you to your tent." He smiled at her, a warm and nice smile and it made Kate feel even more unsure. She only nodded and took her undergarments from his hands and got up to swim to the other side of the pool. Sawyer followed suit and without talking they swam back to their piles of clothes. They both got out of the water and Sawyer handed her a towel. Kate hadn't thought about bringing one and was thankful that he had. She nodded and smiled weakly still unable to utter one syllable. She rubbed her whole body dry with it and caught Sawyer looking at her naked body. Damn she is beautiful, Sawyer thought to himself but didn't dare speak his thoughts out loud. She seemed to be disturbed somehow. He'd gotten to know her as a strong woman who knew exactly what she wanted and did whatever she chose to do but this beautiful creature next to him, this sexy and amazing woman was someone else entirely. She seemed weak, drained of all energy.

But he didn't dare touch her or ask her what he so desperately wanted to know. Kate handed him the towel when she was finished and shyly started to dress. He used to towel to get himself dry and then did the same. When they were both dressed they just stood there and looked at each other. Sawyer was torn inside. One half of him wanted to mock her and tell her he'd known from the start she'd come begging back to him. But the other half wanted to hold her in his arms and make her smile, laugh, love. He had never felt like this before and was completely confused. He'd always been composed and knew his feelings like no one else. He had himself under control. He'd used sex as a means to an end to get what he wanted. He never let feelings get in the way. And now there was this barely audible little voice inside his head and it kept on getting louder.

Kate on the other hand knew exactly what was happening to her. She had lied to herself when she wanted to believe it was only sex, only one moment of stolen pleasure. But now she saw the truth. This man, this liar, this bastard, this righteous and selfish con man made her whole again. Whatever she'd been running away from and to in the past, it didn't matter anymore. It seemed unimportant and insignificant. He took her body to heights she'd never thought possible and made her soul soar. In his arms she felt completed, she could let her thoughts and worries drift away and all that remained was love and pleasure.

They commenced their way to the beach. Neither of them talked. Both were too unsure about what had just happened. Sawyer was still trying to convince himself that it was just another afternoon delight, meaningless sex, but the little voice in his head grew bigger with every step they took. Kate felt the energy slowly coming back to her body. She felt the blood return to her legs and her arms and dared to look at Sawyer again. He was walking next to her looking on the jungle ground and didn't say a word. Not like Sawyer at all, Kate thought to herself surprised that he hadn't made a sloppy remark. She felt gratitude towards Sawyer. Gratitude that he hadn't tried to destroy whatever it was. But what was it? Kate didn't know. And so didn't Sawyer.

When they came back to camp they were both unsure about how to part. A hug? A kiss? A simple but honest goodbye? Because neither knew they just stood there for a few moments and looked into each other's eyes trying to figure the situation out. But suddenly a voice destroyed the moment. It was Jack's.

"Hey, Kate, I've been looking for you everywhere. Locke told me you got caught in a hole with Sawyer? You okay?" Kate looked at Jack incredulously. Right. The hole. She'd spent a night in a hole with Sawyer. The memories came all back to her. She wondered how much Locke had seen or suspected. She tried to figure out the look on Jack's face but it was the same as always. Composed. Neutral. Jack. She decided on a neutral answer. "I'm fine. We're fine. Locke came and got us out. Everything okay."

Sawyer, however, hated that Jack needed to know every damn detail of everybody's damn life. He shot Jack a mischievous look and added: "Well doc, wouldn't mind spendin' another night in the dirt with Freckles here!" Kate froze. No. He hadn't really said that, right? Jack's eyes became fiery and he shot Sawyer an angry look and Kate a disappointed one and then he left. Kate felt the knot in her throat tighten. That's why I hate you so much, she thought. And in this very moment she did hate him. In the morning he had basically wanted to rape her. The he had apologized and for a moment he had fooled her into believing that he really meant it. But now this. I hate you, I hate you so much, she thought. But she only shot him a non-descript look and calmly said: "I have to go."

She left a dumb-founded Sawyer behind who just muttered: "Women". Kate went straight for her tent and got in. She quickly changed into the big shirt she used instead of PJs and sat down on her makeshift mattress. She didn't feel like company right now and wanted to skip dinner anyway so she thought she might just go to bed early. After taking a few shallow breaths she started to shiver again. "I hate him" she told herself. But it only made her even more confused. How could he hurt her so much if she didn't give a damn about him? She wanted to be ignorant, wanted that she didn't care but she knew she couldn't lie to herself. She did care. And it damn hurt how he treated her sometimes. And this fact, knowing that she did care, it made her even angrier at him and herself. Kate knew that she was fast losing it and it made her shiver even more. Had she been in the real world she would've packed her bags and left. But she couldn't leave. Only thing she could do was avoid him. She decided to start now and stay in her tent as long as possible. To hell with Sawyer, she thought as she lay down and cuddled up under the Oceanic blanket.

A few hours later Kate woke up from a disturbing dream. She had dreamt about her childhood. About that day when her dad took her riding for the first time. She remembered how much she had loved it. How free and untamed she had felt. How glorious. But she had to go back home and felt terrible. Because she wasn't riding anymore and because she knew this special occasion wouldn't come again so soon. She longed for that little horse, wanted to go riding and be a real Girl Cowboy. She never went riding again. Kate remembered how empty it had made her feel at the time. Hell, she'd only been 8 years old back then but she remembered so clearly. She woke up and felt 8 years old again. Having just experienced the most wonderful feeling in the world and knowing she couldn't ever have it back again. Only this time it wasn't a horse and this time she wasn't 8 years old. It was Sawyer and she was a grown-up. Damn. The shivers came back again and Kate couldn't fight it any longer. Little tears fought their way out of her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She touched her face incredulously. Tears. She had thought she would never cry because of someone else again. She felt the tears tearing her apart. One part of her still hated him and wanted him to go to the fucking hell for everything he did to her. The other part simply wanted to go to him and beg him to hold her. She didn't know what to do and closed her eyes trying to forget or at least push far enough away.

She didn't even hear it when someone opened the flap of her tent and stepped inside. It was him.


	7. The wrong truth

**Chapter 7 – ****The wrong truth**

_He really looks gorgeous when he's asleep, Kate thought. __But right now she couldn't afford her thoughts to run into that direction. She was here for one reason only. The case. They had found it earlier that day when they'd discovered the pool for the first time. He'd managed to talk her into a swim and for a brief moment she'd felt like a teenager again. Swimming and fooling around with Sawyer. But then they'd discovered the dead bodies and the case. She needed it back from him before he managed to get it open himself. Back at the pool she'd told him she didn't care about it and had let him take it. But apparently he must had known that she'd been lying because all day he'd been holding on to that damn case like a little girl to her favorite doll. And damn she knew that Sawyer would hold on to that case like a little stubborn girl. Only he had the dimples, and the blue eyes and a few other very dangerous weapons. She slowly approached his tent trying to be very quiet, she didn't want to wake him. He had positioned the case between his legs. Talking about the crown jewels here, huh? Ever so softly she reached for the case but suddenly Sawyer moved, grabbed her hard and trapped her on top of him with his legs around her waist. "Gotcha" Sawyer said smugly. Kate was getting angry. "Get off of me" she hissed but Sawyer only smiled at her. "Golly, I hate to bicker about positions, sweetheart, but I think you're the one on top. Maybe you're not here for the case at all."_

_She'd thought about head-butting him but that would hurt her, too, so she decided on a more subtle way of persuasion. She kissed him. __But Sawyer wasn't fooled so easily and never eased his grip on her. Instead he rolled them around forcefully so that he was now on top of her. He nudged her legs a bit apart and positioned himself between them while he started kissing Kate's neck. Kate let out a soft moan and Sawyer smiled to himself. "Still want that case, Freckles?" he whispered into her ear and he instantly knew that for once he should've kept his damn mouth shut. Kate finally head-butted him and fought free from under him to grab the case but still Sawyer was a tad faster and had already got it. "Ow, woman. If you wanted to play rough, all you had to do was say so." He shot her a seductive look. "Wanna try for it again?" But Kate was already storming out of the tent thinking about various ways to make that damn Southerner suffer until he whimpered like a little girl._

Deciding what to do had been a real torment for Sawyer. He somehow hadn't believed the charade that they both had been living up to this afternoon. It had been too surreal. Too fairy-tale come true. He had found himself holding her trying to soothe whatever was haunting her. It had been a strange feeling he hadn't felt in years. Caring for someone wasn't exactly his strong suit. But suddenly he had found himself wrapped around her and had wanted to do anything to make her smile at him again. And it ate at him. At his pride. It sure as hell was only another sign that this damn island was making him soft. Hell, he had even apologized to Kate for coming on to her that morning. Fucking unbelievable.

"I have to go" was all she'd said when she left him at the beach. It said nothing and everything. And the fact that he somehow cared which it was made him even angrier. He was angry at Kate. What the fuck had she done to him? Why had she done it? But Sawyer was also angry at himself. Get a grip, he told himself. She's just a beautiful girl you're having fun with, nothing more, he tried to convince himself. They'd met at a bar, for god's sake. What good could come out of that, right? But then again, she really was beautiful. Her freckles intrigued him and he had this strange urge to kiss every single one. "Damn it" he got out between clenched teeth.

He had gone to his tent after she had practically run away from him. He'd wanted to read and maybe doze off but hell, that damn woman didn't disappear from his mind. It was like she'd found a way into his thoughts and into his memory. Because damn it, he could remember. The feel of her soft skin under his touch, how she arched her back in pleasure when he slowly caressed her taut peaks. The way her hair somehow smelled of coconut. And her kiss. Her lips tasted like mango and banana and Kate. Damn. Now even his taste was betraying him.

It was enough, Sawyer thought to himself. He was not someone to be longing for a girl, not the guy to send flowers and call when he had promised. He was a con-man after all, he seduced women for two reasons. Either he wanted their money or he was bored. And since money didn't matter on Craphole Island it must be boredom. Yes, that's it, boredom. Kate was just entertainment, nothing more. Sawyer flung his book away, he hadn't been reading properly anyway, and got up. "I'm gonna get myself some entertainment" he said and left his tent, determined to show Kate the true nature of their relationship.

When he entered her tent he found her sitting on her makeshift bed, apparently thinking about something very hard. She didn't even dare look at him. The look of her so small, so defeated almost made him abandon his plan to simply fuck her without feeling and hoping to be free from all these unwanted feelings then. But he got a grip and put on his armor again. "Hey Freckles" was all he had to say to make her look up at him.

Damn it Kate, he hasn't even said something interesting, she thought to herself. But she already found herself lost in his eyes. He had his cocky grin on full display and was apparently having some agenda of his own. Kate looked back on the ground. "What do you want, Sawyer?" Sawyer noticed the flatness in her voice, but knew it was hard for her to sound so indifferent. "Well, Sweetcheeks, was hopin' for some late night delight."

The moment he had uttered these words Kate knew it. She knew that the Sawyer she hated was back. He had been too kind this afternoon. So unlike him she was waiting for his real side to seize control back any second.

The Sawyer standing in front of her, grinning at her mischievously was the same Sawyer that had conned her out of a kiss when Jack and Sayid had tortured him. The same person that found more comfort in securing his stash than helping the other survivors. The con-man who knew what he was doing, the same person she'd met in Australia. A little part of her had hoped that he had changed in the last weeks and that maybe Locke was right and they all got and deserved a second chance. But seeing him like this, his old show on full display, asking her to sleep with him. Well, not asking exactly, more stating the obvious.

Kate felt a lump form in her stomach and all of a sudden she felt sick. As in "I'm gonna throw up all over you" sick. Sawyer noticed the look of disgust on her face and knew that tonight he might have to work all his tricks. He walked a little closer to her but didn't yet get down. "Hey Freckles, no need to despair. Maybe a little bit of Sawyer might help cheer you up." His Southern drawl was at its best and his show was more than perfect. Right that moment Kate knew. She knew that she could, would and should never love this man. He was obviously using her, enjoying her company while it lasted and she was damn sure if the occasion arose where he could trade her for something better, he would do it without hesitation. Kate didn't feel sick anymore, the sickness had vanished but had left a burning hole of anger. Anger at herself and the man standing too close to her.

She'd known from the beginning that he meant trouble, that he would hurt her like nobody before if she decided to let him in but that he would just use her, especially now, after what they had shared that afternoon, that was just too much. He wanted sex without emotions? He wanted to use her? He wanted to play games? Well, two people can play that damn game, Kate thought and had already gotten up. She looked him deep in the eyes and positioned her hands on his flat chest. "Just shut up, Sawyer" she said before she kissed him almost violently. She turned him around so that he was standing with his back to the mattress. After realizing what she was about to do he tried to get control of the kiss but Kate surprised him by ripping open his shirt and smiling at him seductively.

"Hell, Freckles, hold them horses, baby…" Sawyer said with a husky tone. Kate only shot him another angry look and pushed him down onto the makeshift bed and positioned herself on top of him, straddling him. "I said shut the fuck up!" With these words she kissed him again and ran her hands over his firm abs. By that time Sawyer was already too turned on to care and harshly tried to undress Kate. First he ran his hands along her back and under her black shirt and soon pulled it over her head. Meanwhile Kate unbuckled his belt and was fast moving one of her hands into his denims. She found him already hard and smiled to herself. This was going to be easy, she thought. She didn't bother being soft or gentle to him so she just wrapped her hands around his shaft and started pumping with full force. Sawyer groaned loudly and got hold of her arms to make her stop. "You thought, you're having all the fun alone, sweetheart?" Kate bit him into his neck making him yell in pain. She stared him in the eyes and said: "Sawyer, you want me to do that again? Then keep talking! If not, shut up!"

He rolled his eyes and turned them around pinning Kate under him. He started kissing her again and darted his tongue determinedly into her hot mouth. Kate moved her hands to his shoulders and finally slipped the shirt off his frame. She let her hands rest on it taking in his strong muscles and his firm body. Sawyer moved his hands over her bare stomach and towards her pants. He had them unbuttoned and unzipped in no time and quickly shoved them over her hips. He got up from her for a few moments when he pulled them fully down her legs until he reached her feet and quickly shoved off her shoes and then the pants. Sawyer positioned himself on top of her again and nudged her legs apart with his. Kate didn't think that she could bear any more. It wasn't gentle, wasn't kind, it was the total opposite of the way they'd made sweet love at the waterfall but still, it was so damn hot.

Sawyer still had his jeans on so Kate moved her hands from his back to his hips and shoved his pants over his hips. He lifted himself up a bit so that she could free his throbbing cock and after she'd done that he positioned himself at her entrance. Kate angled her legs to give him better access and he was lost. He didn't care if she was ready enough, even though he was damn sure that she was, but he was sure that if she'd keep this dirty little game up any longer he'd come before he even entered her. In one fluent movement he moved her panties aside and plunged into her fully. Kate let out a little gasp at the sensation and put her hands on his ass to keep him where he was. Sawyer smiled at her and started to move fast and hard.

He ruthlessly rocked in and out of her causing something between pleasure and pain for both of them. Sawyer was close already and he didn't care if she came or not, but secretly knew she would. "Harder Sawyer, harder" Kate groaned into his ear and he did as his lady commanded. He increased his pace and rammed relentlessly into her with full force. His force sent Kate over the edge and the contractions took Sawyer with her. He thrust into her one last time and emptied himself into her wet, hot core. Kate was still clutching him and dug her nails brutally into his shoulders. Finally the last waves of pain and passion subsided and Kate loosened her grip on him. Sawyer rolled off of her and laid next to her. They were both breathing heavily and had their eyes closed.

Kate didn't want to open her eyes. She felt like a whore. She'd known what was about to happen and had thought she was up for it, but having done it, she couldn't help but feel like a dirty slut. She'd let him use her and he knew it, too. Somehow he'd gained control along the way and it made her even angrier. But she didn't want to give him that satisfaction, too, so she got up, picked her shirt and quickly put it on. She was struggling into her pants when Sawyer opened his eyes and shot her a look. "What? Already leavin', Sassafras?" Kate buttoned her pants and shot him a bored look. "When I come back you won't be here, Sawyer. Got it?" He was about to say something but Kate was already exiting the tent. "Damn it…" Sawyer said to himself.

Kate walked away from her tent as fast as she could. She didn't pay attention to anyone else on the beach and soon accelerated to running. She wanted to get away from it. From the thoughts, the feelings, the smell of him on her body. She ran for several minutes when she finally arrived at the remote place of the beach she'd been sitting at the day before. She never stopped her frantic movements and got rid of her tank top and her pants. She stormed towards the ocean until she was in shoulder deep and duck her head in for a moment. She wanted to get rid of the dirt on her body and rubbed her hands along her arms and her stomach when she finally burst out in tears. She managed to get out of the water and collapsed on the beach next to her shed clothes. She pulled her knees close to her body and hugged her arms around them. Her eyes spilled out everything she wanted to scream at Sawyer or herself and it was very long into the night that the crying finally stopped and all that was left was the crazy thoughts in Kate's head and the crushing waves of the ocean.

She spent several hours sitting alone at the beach staring at the water and trying to ignore how she felt. When she was sure that it was deep enough into the night and every one must have been asleep by now she got up, dressed and slowly walked back to camp. Nobody was awake except for the guards but since it wasn't anyone close to her they didn't really care and only smiled at her weakly. When Kate got to her tent she found it empty and sighed. "Thank God…" she whispered to herself and secured the flap of the blue tarp with a tight knot. She didn't feel like company at all and wanted any visitor to get it right away. She took a deep breath and once again got rid of her clothes and put an old worn-out shirt on. She was about to lie down when she saw it.

Sawyer's shirt. He must have forgotten it or hadn't cared. She hesitated for a second but then bent down to pick it up. It smelled like him. The unique scent of Sawyer and salt mixed with sweat and traces of cologne. Kate took the shirt and finally went to bed. She positioned herself in a fetal position and clung on to her blanket. She laid his shirt next to her and watched it suspiciously wondering how it would feel if it wasn't his shirt but him lying next to her. She closed her eyes and turned around trying to go to sleep and forget about the simple item behind her back. During the night, however, she found herself tossing and turning with unease. Only when she grabbed Sawyer's shirt and hugged it close to her she found peace and slept peacefully for the rest of the night.


	8. Regret

**Chapter 8 – Regret**

„_I've never been married" Sawyer said. __Kate didn't know how to answer at first. They'd started with casual and funny stuff. By now she already knew that Sawyer had never been to college, had never voted democrat, had worn pink in the eighties and claimed to never have been in love. But now he was looking at her with a stern and serious expression and knew he'd caught her off guard. Kate rose the little bottle to her lips and drank a little sip. Two can play this game, she thought. "It didn't last very long. I never blamed a boar for all my problems" she said calmly. Sawyer just smirked and drank. "I never cared about having carte blanche because I just wanted to spend some time with the only other person on this island that just don't belong". Kate swallowed hard. He had her there and he knew it, too. She'd tried avoiding him, yelling at him, hating him, insulting him, but nothing had helped. She still felt this force pulling her towards him and when he'd said he was going after a boar she'd somehow ended up coming with him. After deciding to spend the night on a small clearing he'd produced some of the small spirit bottles from the airplane and had started this game called "I never". She fidgeted a little and drank. The warm liquid soothing her throat and warming her up a bit. "I never carried a letter around for 20 years because I couldn't get over my baggage" she finally said after a few more moments of almost unbearable silence. She watched Sawyer's jaw clench and shot him a determined look. He drank. "I never killed a man" Sawyer said with a certain hoarseness to his voice. Kate couldn't help but stare at the ground. Should she let him know or keep her mouth shut? Her thoughts were racing through her head with uncommon speed. By the time she decided that she couldn't decide she had already drunk. Ever so slowly she looked at Sawyer and what she saw confused her. He drank. She'd prepared herself for mock or anger or shock but not for this and so she sat in silence drinking him in, watching him drink and knowing it said more than anything else. "Well, looks like we got something in common, after all" Sawyer suddenly said with a hushed tone. _

_So he had killed someone. Just like herself. And now the big secret was out. __But Kate didn't feel relieved and neither did Sawyer. Damn it, he thought to himself, should've shut up. But a faint feeling of belonging arose in his stomach. He remembered how he'd felt when he'd shot the guy and was sure that Kate must've felt similar things. Hate, anger, desperation, relief and finally, regret. He tried to determine which of these were most visible in Kate's green eyes but they were blurry. Kate felt his cold stare on her and felt naked. She wasn't naked, of course but she felt exposed to his look and exposed to whatever he wanted to do to her. She felt out of control and she knew why she'd been running away from it all her life. It wasn't that she felt guilty of ending someone's life, it wasn't the fact that she would have to spend the rest of her life in jail or worse, it was the simple fact that she wouldn't be in control anymore and that people would leave her bare and naked to their looks. _

_Sawyer felt Kate stiffen even though she was some feet away. He knew he'd hurt a part of her and was already preparing himself for a beating or at least some heavy argument. __But when she slowly got up she didn't yell and she didn't hit him. He watched her walk the short distance towards him and he let out an almost inaudible sigh when she got down on his lap. Sawyer looked at her in awe trying to find out what she was doing and why the hell she was doing it. Hadn't she made it unmistakably clear that she would never ever sleep with him again? He didn't get it, but as he felt her soft hands on his cheek he lost power over his thoughts and didn't care anymore, the feel of her straddling him already turning him on too much and the feel of her soft breath against his ear when she kissed his cheek making him forget all reason. "Goodnight, Sawyer" she whispered into his ear and then placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was soft and tender and so different from how they had experienced this kind of closeness before. He looked into her eyes pleading her to stay exactly where she was but she was already getting up and headed back to the spot where she'd been sitting before. Sawyer felt the cold night air cruel against his body, his lap, his lips still warm from her touch and desperately aching for more. He took a deep breath, growled "Night, Freckles" and lay down to sleep. Whatever was going on in her head, he didn't understand it and was way too pissed off by her actions to care. Kate was now lying on the ground and had her back towards him. She was satisfied. She had gone over to him, had aroused him in a very soft and sensual way and then she had just gotten up and left him be. Kate smiled to herself. She had her control back._

When Sawyer woke up he felt terrible. He felt a little like he'd been drinking too much the night before but he very well knew he hadn't. He thought of last night. He had just wanted his control back and so he'd decided to do it the only way he knew. He'd gone for Kate's tent and he'd found her more than willing to do what he'd wanted to do. It hadn't been nice, sensual, soft, kind, tender or even passionate. It had just been a plain fight for release and more importantly control over the other. Just what had happened to them? What made her so aggressive, so raw? Sawyer rubbed his temples and groaned. This woman really will be the death of me, he thought. He needed to talk to her and even though this was the last thing he wanted to do he knew it would be the proper thing to do. And damn it, if this island hadn't taught him anything else he'd at least keep things clear between him and Kate. Not the best person to have as an enemy, he thought.

When he got up from his makeshift bed he felt a little pain on his back. He ran his hand over his bladebone and remembered how Kate had dug her fingernails deep into his flesh. He hadn't noticed while he'd been violently ramming into her lower body but right now it just pissed him off a little more. He remembered how she'd left after only a few minutes and had told him to hit the road. Why had she done that, he wondered. Could it be that she felt just like him? That she felt that she's losing control over something unfamiliar and new? Sawyer took a deep breath. He couldn't, shouldn't and damn it all to hell he wouldn't fall in love with her or any of that other cheesy, sloppy shit. He'd never been in love before and it wasn't on the menu for him so he clenched his jaw again and got dressed. Sawyer thought about Kate and what had happened between them so far off and on the island. It wouldn't be easy. He somehow had to break her heart, tell her to leave him alone and that all they had was sex and nothing more. But at the same time he didn't want to hurt her or to drive her away. She was the only person resembling a friend that he had and even if it was something unknown to him he wasn't so sure if he was ready to let it go.

When he searched for his jeans he found his old letter on the ground. It must've fallen out of the pocket or something, he thought. Slowly he took it and unfolded it. His little boy scripture fading with every time that he had unfolded and folded the letter. The paper already thin and aged. When he read the sad words it all came back to him. His parents and the way their lives had ended. The way he had felt under his own bed his father's blood slowly dripping on the floor in front of him. Sawyer. When he thought about the real Sawyer, the man that was the reason for all this shit, for his parents' deaths, for his own misery he remembered what he'd once sworn to himself. No attachments, no love, no family, no doubt and no regret. He was on this planet for one reason only. To find and kill the real Sawyer. After that, he didn't care if he would go to hell. Sawyer folded the letter again and put it back in the pocket of his jeans and finally put them on. Time to get things straight, he thought and headed for Kate's tent.

When Kate woke up her whole body was aching. Her head was buzzing and her limbs felt sore. It must've been the frantic running, she thought. But her arms and legs weren't the only parts that felt sore. The pain between her legs was almost too much to bear so she lifted the blanket a bit and looked down her own body. She could see his fingerprints on her hips. Red marks from where he'd squeezed her skin way too tightly. Kate angled her legs a bit higher and swallowed hard. Her inner thighs were bright blue on each side. She let her head fall back on the mattress and closed her eyes. He had marked her. But he hadn't done it with passion or tender love no, he'd done it with force and anger and now she could see and feel his anger on her body. Kate was fighting her feelings but couldn't suppress the first sobs. She felt as if he'd taken away the ownership of her own body. He'd marked it and had made it irrevocably his. Kate knew that it would take a while until the bruises became first purple then greenish, yellowish and then faded. For about a week she would see them, feel them every day and would be reminded of last night when all she wanted was for the memories to fade away and never come back.

She felt used. She felt taken only to be thrown away afterwards. She felt like a whore. He made her feel like a whore and whatever nice things he did to her it couldn't countervail the feeling of being used, the feeling of having body and soul raped. Maybe this was what she'd needed all along. Finally a reason to hate him. To hate him, offend him, insult him and know he deserved every bit of it. She'd wanted her control back but what she got was termination. She wouldn't ever fantasize about him anymore, wouldn't dream about him touching her because he'd hurt her physically and emotionally beyond reason and now she knew that this was it. At last she'd found closure and had the termination to treat him like the asshole that he obviously was.

Kate pulled herself together and got up to dress. She searched her tent for a fresh tank and some jeans. First she stepped into the denims and as she was about to pull them up someone entered her tent. She obviously hadn't secured her tent well enough and Kate was already about to hiss something when she looked up at Jack and found him gazing over her half naked body. Kate was shocked and froze. Jack looked at her full lips and swallowed hard. He let his gaze wander down her collarbone and over her perfect breasts. He was fascinated by her flat stomach and her cute little navel. He glanced over her hip bones and was a bit irritated by the red marks but still couldn't help gazing lower and between her legs. Her tiny panties didn't cover much and he found himself imagining himself touching her there when he saw them. Bright blue bruises on her inner thighs. He looked back up at the red marks on her hips and then straight into her eyes.

"Who did this, Kate?" he growled at her and Kate felt her body tense at his angry stare. Kate quickly shoved her jeans over her hips and grabbed the tank. She pulled it over her head and tried to ignore Jack's obvious discomfort. He stepped closer to her and to Kate it felt like a giant prey was standing there only waiting for his turn to kill her. "I asked, who did this, Kate?" Jack's voice was louder than before and he was clenching his jaw. Kate looked at him defensively and finally said "None of your business, Jack, I'm fine". When she wanted to walk past him he grabbed her arm violently and hissed at her "Damn it, Kate, it was him, wasn't it?" Kate met his stare and answered "I've no idea what you mean, Jack!" She was lying and he knew it. "Sawyer, he did this to you, didn't he? Where is he? I'll make him pay Kate, I'll fucking kill him if he does as much as look at you again!"

Kate saw anger and wrath in Jack's eyes and knew he meant it just like he had said it. If he found Sawyer, he would kill him. "Jack, don't. He didn't mean to hurt me, Jack, you have to believe me" Kate pleaded. Jack looked at her with disbelief. Sawyer the bastard had hurt her and she still defended him like he had any honest notions? He didn't understand her. "Kate, have you lost your mind? He has hurt you! You have marks and bruises over your whole body and you still defend him? What did he do to you, Kate? What did he threaten to do to you?" Jack was obviously losing his patience and tightened his grip on her arm. "Jack, damn it, the only person hurting me at the moment is you!" she yelled at him and Jack let go of her arm.

Jack swallowed and looked at her. He tried to calm himself down a bit but didn't really succeed. "Kate, what the hell did he do to you?" Jack was losing his way fast and all Kate could do was shake her head. "Nothing, Jack. He didn't do anything" she said weakly. Right that moment it dawned upon him. Whatever Sawyer had done she hadn't said no to him. She must've wanted it and this repelled Jack somehow. He took a few steps back from her and looked at her like she was a parasite. Jack pressed his lips together. "You wanted it Kate, didn't you? You let him touch you?" Kate didn't know what to say. She had wanted it but it had turned out so wrong and now Jack was interrogating her and gave her a disgusted look. What should she answer to him? How could he ever understand?

"Well, Kate, this pause says everything. Damn it, you let him touch you! You let him fuck you hard, didn't you? How did he do it, Kate? Was he on top ramming into you or did you ride him hard? Did you moan his name as he came inside of you? Did you get off on it? Did you come knowing he has stained you? Tell me, Kate, how does it feel to be Sawyer's whore?" Kate felt anger rise in her heart. Her heartbeat quickened and her pulse was literally raging when she shot him an angry look and slapped him hard. "You don't get to call me a whore, Jack just because it wasn't you I was riding hard last night! And yes, I came, twice to be honest, because Sawyer knows what a woman needs and whenever I see him I just want him to fuck me hard and bend me to his will. All I think about when I see you however is taking a nap!" she screamed and hurried out of the tent.

When Sawyer came to Kate's tent he saw her storming away towards the jungle and found a dumbfounded yet angry Jack inside of her tent. When Jack saw him he gave him an evil look. Five minutes ago Jack would've done everything to kill Sawyer and to revenge what he'd done to Kate but after her reaction he just felt disgusted by her and felt only indifference towards Sawyer. Sawyer felt his jaw clench. "What did you do to her, Jackass?" he hissed at the doc but tried to hold back until he knew what had happened. "If you mean your own little whore, she's maybe looking for a new venue for you to fuck her" Jack said hoarsely. Right that moment Sawyer lost his temper and clenched his fist only to punch the Jackass right in his face. Once, twice, three times he hit him hard until Jack was lying on the floor with a bleeding nose. "You call her a whore one more time Jackass and I'll make sure you eat your food mashed!" Sawyer yelled at him and left the tent to look for Kate.

Sawyer ran into the direction he'd seen her head to fast. He wanted to catch up on her and see if she was okay. He'd called her a whore. The Jackass had called her a whore and this ate at Sawyer. Whatever thoughts he might have had about her he had never thought of her as a whore. You never call a lady a whore, even if the woman in question was you just didn't use that word. And judging from Kate's reaction he must've called her worse things than that. Thanks to his long legs it didn't take long for him to catch up. She wasn't running but her pace was quite fast and he could see her shaking. "Kate" he called out softly but she didn't stop. "Leave me alone, Sawyer" she said dryly. But he wasn't ready to give up and quickened his pace to catch up, grabbed her hard and held her tight to his chest.

Kate didn't fight him. She just let him hold her in his arms and felt her body relax at the familiar touch. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Kate, what happened?" Sawyer asked softly and rested his jaw close to her temple. She could feel his heartbeat and the warmth coming from his body and it soothed her. She wanted her thoughts to disappear. She wanted Jack's harsh words to disappear but they were imprinted in her mind and didn't go away. She swallowed hard and when she began to speak it was almost only a whisper. "He came into my tent when I was getting dressed". Sawyer didn't understand. He didn't like the idea of the doc seeing his woman naked but what had made him call her a whore? Sawyer loosened his hold a bit and held Kate's chin high so she had to look straight into his eyes. "Hey, Freckles, you can talk to me. I won't be mad at you, I won't hurt you. All I'll do is hold you tight until you feel better. So just tell me what happened". His voice was so soft and his blue eyes burned into hers feverishly.

Kate felt her heart melt, he cared for her and he didn't even try to hide it. "He saw the marks and bruises and got mad at me. He called me a whore" she said sadly. Sawyer swallowed. "Bruises, Freckles? What bruises?" His question was also a plea for forgiveness. He already knew her answer but he dreaded it nonetheless. He searched her eyes for hurt or anger at him but all he found was sadness and it almost broke his heart. He hadn't thought he'd ever feel like this. He'd done loads of women and most of the times he wasn't gentle because all he had in mind was his own release. But with Kate it was somehow different. If she told him he had bruised her he would hate himself for it. "Last night you hurt me, Sawyer. My hips have red marks on them and my thighs are bruised…" her voice trailed off. She couldn't use the words Jack had used before even though she knew they were true.

The moment Kate had said the words he let go of her. Kate felt the soothing warmth disappear and looked at him desperately. "Sawyer, it's okay, I…" she started but Sawyer cut her off. "No, Kate. It's not okay. I'm sorry I hurt you, it won't ever happen again" he said coldly and simply turned around and walked away from her. Kate stood there helplessly and watched his tall body move further and further away from her. The warmth disappeared with it, the warmth and the feeling of belonging and all that was left was the emptiness inside of her and the marks he had left on her body.


	9. Inbetween

**Chapter 9 – ****In-between**

„_Mmm-hmmm. Look. Look at this" Sawyer said a__ngrily and grabbed the passport. He examined it quickly and got a few feet away from Kate so she couldn't get it back. "Sawyer, please" Kate pleaded but already knew that he wouldn't give in or up. There was already a little crowd gathered and Sawyer was only too eager to give them a little show. "You all remember Joanna, don't you? The woman who drowned?" with these words Sawyer handed the passport to Michael who looked at it suspiciously. "Now what's Kate doing with poor Joanna's ID? Could it be she'd do just about anything to get on that raft? So she could get herself rescued, run off with a new identity before half the reporters in the world descend on this damn island? She might even poison the captain himself" Sawyer hissed at her and was obviously enjoying his new role. Sawyer gave Kate a cold stare. "Shut up" was all she could manage but Sawyer only stared at her. "She don't care about nothin' or nobody but herself" he finally said and shot her another malicious glance. Kate had heard his words but what his eyes said was even crueler and way more frightening. She saw revenge there and desperation. She understood how bad he wanted to get off this island, about as bad as herself but for other reasons. But what was he avenging? What was he hurting her for in this little game of power? Was he punishing her for not sleeping with him again? Or was it only now that they actually had a chance to get off the island that he showed her his true nature. Survival of the fittest. She'd always thought this true as long as it was what was driving her, what was helping her survive. But now it just seemed wrong. She felt everyone's looks on her. They were staring at her, burning her skin with their inquisitive stares and Kate could barely handle it. _

_She looked back into Sawyer's eyes hoping for at least a little hint of regret or friendliness but she found none. And for the first time she found herself disappointed that he wasn't on her side. However hard she'd tried to push him away in the past right this moment she would do anything to get his trust and friendship, but she knew he had decided to let her go to hell if it was necessary and all that was left was the truth. So Kate swallowed hard and said: "Yes. I was on the plane with the Marshal. Yes, I was wanted and caught and being transported back. No matter what I say about what happened, about what I supposedly did, I'm going to jail. But I didn't poison you". Th__e last sentence was directed at Michael but during her whole little speech she found her eyes going back to Sawyer's still hoping for any sign of remorse but there was nothing. Michael handed the passport back to Sawyer and left. Everyone else including Sawyer was slowly retreating as well but each one of them now looked at her as if she was dangerous, a parasite with the only purpose to damage and deprave the flock. _

_Nobody had said anything to her. They just watched and left. Nobody had questioned what she'd done or why she'd done it but from their looks Kate could easily surmise that they'd made up their minds. She was guilty and nobody doubted it even for a second. __Kate sank down in the sand and looked at the few items from her backpack that Sawyer had scattered in his raid for the passport. Few unimportant things. A bottle of water, a spare t-shirt, a mango, a stupid toy plane, that had once meant so much to her but now seemed just plain stupid. Nothing valuable or precious. Kate swallowed hard and felt a knot in her throat. So this is my life, huh, she thought. A few scattered items in the sand. Kate felt more alone than ever. She'd thought she and Sawyer were something like friends. Both didn't belong, both were outcasts and strangely enough they were getting on quite well when they weren't busy hating and mocking each other. He was the closest thing she had to a friend and he had betrayed her when he first got the chance. She didn't know why she needed him to be on her side, why she needed him to be nice and kind to her, she only knew she did and that without him close to her she would surely go mad. But he was gone, he'd left and betrayed her and tomorrow he would leave this damn island and she would probably never see him again. All for the better, she thought, and grabbed her few unimportant items and went back to her tent. _

"There ain't anything worth staying for on this island" he had said. Sawyer's words were ringing in Kate's head like a bad memory. The night before the raft had sailed off he had said it. She'd been standing next to the fire and had been staring it down when he'd come. She'd hoped he would apologize for what he'd done to her but he hadn't. Sorry didn't suit him. Back then she'd believed him and let him leave her. He'd sailed off the next day and for a few days she'd thought she wouldn't ever see him again and a little lump of regret and sadness had emerged inside her throat. But the events of the following days hadn't left her much time for thinking. They'd discovered a mysterious hatch in the ground and more importantly they'd discovered that they weren't alone on this island. But all the fear for her life didn't matter anymore when a strange dark skinned man who called himself Mr. Eko had arrived and had a wounded Sawyer on his shoulders.

She'd know he didn't stand much chance and even Jack hadn't been too optimistic about it but she had simply refused to give up on him as long as she hadn't asked him what she wanted to know more than anything else. But during the course of caring for him she had felt her old life and all the memories creeping up on her and it had frightened the shit out of her so when he finally did wake up she was nice and friendly and yes, happy as hell, but she didn't talk to him. They'd gone back to mocking each other and even if there'd seemed to be a renewed closeness and familiarity Kate hadn't let him in and Sawyer hadn't tried anymore. And for a short time it had seemed as if they could co-exist as friends. Friends who had had sex a few times and knew too many dark secrets about one another and who probably hated each other's guts more than anything but still, friends.

But now it all seemed to shatter and crush back. Jack had called her a whore. And more importantly he'd called her Sawyer's whore. She knew that some of his harsh words were true but was she really his whore? Did she feel like one? The part of her that had washed him away last night might have felt like one but now, as she was thinking about Sawyer and saw him leaving she only felt hurt. What the hell was this man thinking? Following her into the jungle when she was probably more distressed than ever, holding her tight telling her it would be alright and then just saying sorry and leaving? Sawyer had said sorry to her. The words he'd promised didn't suit him but he had said them and it confused her to death. She saw his figure become smaller with each step that he took but this time she wasn't going to let him just leave her. Not again. "Sawyer" she called out but he didn't react. "Sawyer" she practically yelled and she saw him flinch but still he didn't stop. Stubborn idiot, she thought and began to run. "Damn it, Sawyer, stop!" she screamed but he didn't stop or even turn around. "Kate, don't, just let me go, okay?" he said without turning around and she could hear the sadness in his voice.

But even the edge to his voice didn't stop Kate and only made her angrier at him. "Damn it, Sawyer, you fucking son of a bitch, I'll only say it one more time: Stop!" At this Sawyer stopped. Had she just called him a son of a bitch? Slowly he turned around and already found her in front of him, fuming. He shook his head weakly and started: "Kate, don't argue, it's…" but Kate cut him off and was still angry and yelling. "No Sawyer, now it's my turn. YOU will listen to what I have to say, damn it!" Sawyer couldn't believe the picture he was seeing in front of him. Her eyes were burning with fury, her voice was raspy and loud and she was swearing like a sailor. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Sawyer?" she shot at him but it wasn't really a question since she didn't give him a chance to answer. "You come after me and hold me and tell me everything's gonna be okay and then you just leave? You don't leave, Sawyer! You don't run, I'm the one running, not you" Kate said a littler calmer. She was searching his eyes and was closing the distance between them until she was only mere inches away.

Sawyer could feel the heat radiating from her body and for a moment he even thought he could feel her heart beat without touching her. Kate was gradually getting her breath back and seemed to calm down but she still looked like she meant business and he didn't dare say anything. "Sawyer, why do you keep leaving me? Why do you mark me only not to claim what's yours?" Kate felt tears in her eyes and she hated herself for being weak, for showing him what she should keep inside for the sake of both their lives but after everything that's happened she didn't care anymore. Sawyer only stared at her and didn't let his feelings show. If he would he'd probably be crying, too, because seeing Kate like this, weak and vulnerable, it broke his heart. But he couldn't make her suffer any more. "Kate, I'm sorry for hurting you. But you have to let me leave before I hurt you again and I don't want to hurt you again, Kate" he said dryly.

Kate didn't know what to do. How could she make him see? Only one day ago she'd thought it was just a fling. A mistake. And after he'd done what he had done last night she only wanted to hate him for his actions. But Jack's words made her angry and they made her defend the man she loved. An hour ago she would've signed his death sentence and now she loved him? Kate knew she was probably getting insane but she couldn't deny the feelings that she suddenly saw so clearly. And even though the moment at the waterfall had still scared her 24 hours ago, now she thought of it as an indicator for love. You couldn't make love to someone like this and not feel anything. "No, Sawyer. You're not leaving me again, do you hear me?" she finally managed to say.

Sawyer sighed, he hadn't thought this would become so difficult. Didn't she understand he was no good for her? He was bound to hurt her and for the first time he did care about someone and didn't want to be the reason for all the pain. His reaction made Kate only angrier. "Damn it , Sawyer, you have nothing to say to this?" Kate was now sobbing heavily and she felt the first tears run down her cheeks but she couldn't care less. "You left me before, Sawyer. When you sailed off on the raft, you left me. Nothing worth staying for my ass. I want to be worth staying for, Sawyer! I've just been called your whore and you wanna know what I felt? I felt insulted. But not because of me being called a whore but because how it describes what we have. And even though you're the most selfish, unforgiving and annoying person I've ever met I can't help wanting to be with you. And I…."

Sawyer cut her off by closing the short distance between them and kissing her. He didn't rush it. He just placed his lips softly on hers and savored the feel of it. After last night Kate was surprised at his tenderness. For a few brief moments they both just stood there not moving only enjoying the feel of being so close again without anger, without rage. After a few more moments Kate looked up at him her eyes red and her cheeks wet from crying. She didn't understand him and she didn't know how and if to ask.

Sawyer felt terrible. He had been sure that he had hurt her the most possible last night, but last night she hadn't looked like this. Her eyes red and blurry, her breathing hard and ragged and her whole body was shivering. And now he had kissed her which probably made everything only worse. It had just happened, he hadn't intended to kiss her because he knew that wasn't what she needed. But it had happened and now she looked at him, devastated and confused but had a little hope in her eyes. And damn him, he wanted to live up to that hope but knew he shouldn't.

"Kate, I….." he said weakly but Kate suddenly kissed him. This time it was more urgent but still very gentle and soft. Sawyer felt Kate push her body closer to his and the instant heat was almost killing him. Kate broke the kiss yet again and looked into his eyes. "Sawyer, I'm scared okay, I want to run away and never see you again so I don't have to think about what happened. But I can't! Because every time you're not with me or treat me bad I feel terrible. I feel worse than I ever have before and it scares the shit out of me that you do this to me. But I can't help it. I need to be with you because….because I…." Kate's voice trailed off and Sawyer was a bit relieved. If she actually said it, the three magic words, the words he knew she was about to say, then it would be real and he would have to do something about it. But maybe, if he was lucky, maybe he could make her think about it again, make her realize she didn't love him.

Sawyer bent down and kissed her again. It was the only thing he knew how to handle and Kate being so close made his brain turn to mush yet again. He let his right hand wander around her waist and pulled her even closer to his body. Kate responded by closing her arms around his neck and opening her mouth to him. He let his tongue slip inside and their tongues danced in an erotic dance. Sawyer felt Kate lean into him and once again he realized how perfect their bodies were matched. He already felt his cock harden and knew he had to do something. They were in the middle of the jungle for God's sake. Reluctantly he broke the kiss and came up for air. "Hey Freckles, how about we head back to the beach, huh?" he said and shot her a mischievous grin. Kate immediately lightened up on his familiar and soothing humor.

But deep inside she knew he was only trying to distract her, to draw her thoughts away from feelings and wants they both shouldn't have, but Sawyer was already starting to nibble at her earlobe and Kate couldn't think straight anymore. "Okay…" she aspirated and they quickly walked back to the beach. They reached Sawyer's tent and both slipped inside without caring if anyone saw. They just didn't care anymore.

For a brief moment they were both standing there just looking at each other neither wanting to make the first move. But finally Sawyer closed the distance between them and hauled Kate towards him. Kate anchored her arms around his neck and wound her legs around his waist. She pressed her core firmly against his growing erection and groaned barely audibly. "God Freckles, you drive me crazy…." He moaned against her ear and kneeled down on the mattress placing Kate under him. Kate instantly felt whole again having him atop of her. His weight might get too heavy at one point but right this moment it was soothing and made her feel like she belonged. She felt like his body belonged exactly where it was. Sawyer braced himself with his hands because he didn't want to crush her but he felt Kate's hand on the small of his back guiding him down until their bodies touched everywhere. "Careful Freckles, don't wanna crush ya…." Sawyer said hoarsely and held Kate's cheek with his right hand.

Kate smiled at him which lightened Sawyer's mood as well. He traced soft little kisses on her nose, down her throat and over her collarbone. Kate slightly arched her back and ran her hand down his arms. Sawyer was desperate for the feel of her hands on his naked skin and moved to remove his shirt. Kate roamed over his body with her eyes. The firmly muscled arms, is defined abs, the short line of hair that ran below his navel and downwards. Kate licked her lips. She could already feel her core getting wet and was desperate to have him inside of her. She angled her legs and saw Sawyer's grin. He kneeled back down between her thighs and rested his hands on her hips. Ever so slowly he pushed her tank higher and placed feather kisses on her stomach. The feel of his lips on her skin sent shivers down Kate's spine and she closed her eyes in abandon. "God, Sawyer…." she moaned.

Kate knew he was trying to be slow and gentle but it almost drove her insane. "You know, Sawyer, you don't have to…." Kate said softly but Sawyer only looked up and placed his hand over her lips. "Yeah I do, Freckles, just let me cherish ya like you deserve it…" Sawyer said with a wicked grin. He looked back down and resumed his light kisses on her stomach. He shoved her tank higher and over her already taut nipples. Kate lifted her head a little and he pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. Sawyer touched her peaks through the thin fabric of her bra and Kate moaned quite loudly. "Whoa, Freckles, I've barely started, need to hold your horses a bit…" Sawyer shot at her but never let his lips leave the soft skin between her breasts. He kissed his way downwards until he reached her pants and opened them expertly and in one quick move. With another smooth move he shoved her pants down over her hips and down her legs just to throw them away. They landed a few feet away in the sand and Sawyer smiled at Kate. She was grinning like a little girl and she looked more beautiful than ever. "Close your eyes, sweetheart" Sawyer ordered softly and Kate obeyed immediately.

He rested his hands on her knees for mere seconds and bend down again to kiss her little navel. He kissed over the soft fabric of her panties and moved closer to her core. He placed another kiss on her inner thigh and suddenly stopped. He looked up at Kate and back at her thigh. It was bright blue. He looked at the other one which was also heavily bruised. Sawyer was shocked. He straightened up and searched Kate's body for more marks. He saw the red finger prints on her hips and shook his head. Kate realized his touch had gone and opened her eyes to see Sawyer staring back at her in shock. "Kate, I had no idea. Your hips, your legs…..I'm so sorry….I've never…..Kate…." Sawyer was chocking on his words. Kate sat up and moved to her knees before him. They were now facing each other but Sawyer was still only staring at her in shock shaking his head. Kate gently stroked his cheek with her hand and softly kissed his lips. "Hey, Sawyer, it's okay. We were both angry. I don't hold it against you. It's okay…." Sawyer looked at her incredulously. "No it ain't okay, Freckles. I hurt you bad, don't you see that? I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't touch ya ever again" he said weakly and was trying to get up but Kate pulled him back down again, her hands on his shoulders.

"And you think leaving me makes it better? I got news for you, it doesn't! Just why are you so mad at yourself for this when I'm not angry at you? Tell me, Sawyer! For once be honest and tell me what's on your mind, damn it!" Kate said determinedly and stared him down. "Hell, Freckles, I just can't stand that I hurt you. I hate myself for it and I don't want to hurt you ever again, you understand me? That's why I gotta leave 'coz sooner or later I'm bound to hurt you" Sawyer answered grimly and clenched his jaw. "And why do you think it is that you can hurt me like that?" she wanted to know. Sawyer took a deep breath. Damn, she really was doing it thoroughly, he thought. "The hell I know, Freckles, I'm taller than you, I'm heavier, not that easy to hurt your small figure, you know?" But the moment he had said it he knew this wasn't what she had meant.

Kate was still scared of what he had to say, damn it, she was even afraid of what she had to say herself but something, some small little voice in her head, or rather in her heart told her to keep going and not to be afraid. She moved forward and placed a little kiss on his lips and then looked back into his eyes. "Sawyer, you think it's possible you might love me?" Kate said softly and caught Sawyer totally off guard. "Damn it, Freckles, I don't know. You're beautiful, I desire you, I love to touch you and I sure as hell know I don't want to hurt you…." Kate cut him off. He was beating around the bush and it annoyed her. "Sawyer, this is not the relativity theory, it's a simple question: Do you love me?" Sawyer almost smiled at her. She meant business and she clearly didn't like to beat around the bush and it only made him love her more. Fuck. He loved her. He'd already known he desired her, hell, she was maybe the hottest little tomboy he'd ever had in bed but love? Hadn't been on his menu so far but having her so close to him it didn't really scare him that much anymore.

"Freckles, you drive me crazy. You run off, you climb trees, you go AWOL when I do as much as look around, you fight with Jackass, you almost get yourself killed at a daily basis…..hell, you're a damn nutcase! But still, somehow can't stop thinking about ya." He grinned at her. "You're a bastard, you know that, Sawyer, right?" Kate smiled at him widely and stroked his cheek again. Sawyer turned serious all of a sudden and rested his forehead against hers. "I know…" he whispered and held her close with his hands on her back. Kate felt his insecurity and realized that he needed time. She looked him in the eyes and smiled softly. "How about we go to sleep, huh? Been a long day for both of us" Kate said and Sawyer smiled at her thankfully. "As long as you don't steal my blanket I'm fine with that, Freckles" he said half funnily and grinned a bit. Sawyer got rid of his jeans and they both went to lay down on the makeshift bed. Sawyer lay behind Kate and moved his arm around her body to hold her tight to him. His chin rested on her head and Kate fit perfectly into his body. She sighed softly and placed her hand over his. "Night Freckles….." Sawyer said softly, but Kate was already asleep. "Think I love you, Freckles…." he said barely audible and knew that he would hate himself again in the morning.


	10. The next step

**Chapter 10 – The next step**

„_Damn it, I'm gonna be late!"__ Kate swore as she checked her watch. It was 7.30 am and her flight was scheduled for 9 o'clock. She silently cursed herself for oversleeping and a part of her wished she hadn't had gone for drinks last night. She hadn't wanted to go at first but Claire had insisted she came since it was so difficult to get a babysitter for Aaron and due to the fact that Kate was about to go on holiday for 3 weeks. "I just can't miss that damn flight!" she firmly said to herself and searched her handbag for her keys."They gotta be…..damn it…..at last!" Kate exclaimed when she finally found them and hastily grabbed her coat and her suitcase and left the house. The taxi she had called was already waiting outside and the driver helped her with her suitcase. When she sat down on the backseat after what had seemed like an eternity of inconveniences she took a deep breath. She really needed a vacation. The last weeks had been a mere haze of to-dos. She'd had to get some papers from the registry, had gone to get her new passport, had worked long hours almost every day and additionally she'd been arranging her move to another part of town._

_But Kate was trying to stuff all the stress into a far corner of her mind. She was going on holiday, for God's sake. She smiled at the memory of packing her suitcase. Claire and Aaron had been over and while Aaron had been sitting in front of the TV watching some cartoons Kate and Claire had been in the bedroom standing next to a bed with a huge pile of clothes on it. "I'm not gonna need this, Claire!" Kate had said determinedly and had hold up a lacey black shirt. Claire had smiled back at her mischievously and had took the item in question from Kate's hands and had stuffed it into the suitcase. Now Kate was fully grinning at the memory and noticed the taxi driver's eyes on her. "Where are you going, sweetheart?" the elderly and friendly looking man asked kindly. Kate smiled at him and answered: "Tuscany" Kate said gently. The taxi driver smiled back at her and nodded: "Italy, always wanted to go". They left it at that because they were already close to the airport and Kate was getting a little nervous. This was going to be her very first holiday in years, the first since she had come back from the island. Kate remembered the day they had been rescued. After a few hours of turmoil she'd found herself on a freighter to Fidji fearing what was coming. She'd been sure she would have to go to jail as soon as she set foot on American soil._

_But they had been quite lenient with her. There had been a hearing but due to the fact that her mother wasn't coherent and since the judges had thought the traumatic island experience should be seen as some sort of punishment they had let her go. Kate had gotten a second chance and she'd done everything to make use of it. She'd gone back to college to get a degree in marketing and now she was working at an advertising agency and just loved her job. She finally belonged somewhere and had people around her to support her. Claire had moved to the US as well and seeing Aaron grow up made Kate smile every time she thought about how she had played midwife that one day in the jungle. Kate suddenly found herself wanting things she'd never thought possible. Having a family, having kids, being married, having a house with a garden and a white picket fence. And a holiday was yet another step towards the life a little 12 year old Kate had always been dreaming about._

When Sawyer woke up he found Kate gone. He remembered holding her in his arms the night before and realized the cold that her absence caused. Where the hell is she, he asked himself and sat up. Sawyer ran his hand through his hair and looked around. Nothing around him reminded him of Kate's presence and this fact somehow made Sawyer sad. He knew he wanted her, he even knew that he loved her even if he didn't really get how and why and when that had happened but he'd never thought he would miss the feel of her around. A few clothes of her, maybe the stupid toy plane she was always looking at, her shoes, simple things, but Sawyer knew if only one of these items was around, he would feel better. He knew he would feel home. He couldn't fathom why he had wanted to leave her. He still thought that he would hurt her probably sooner than later but he simply wasn't ready to let the feelings she caused go. She made him whole. For years his life had been a vendetta, a desperate journey towards irrevocable damnation. Sawyer remembered his life a torment. When his parents had died he moved from one foster home to the next and he grew up to be a cynic and cold man that conned people and didn't give a shit about how they felt. His only aim in life was to find the real Sawyer and eliminate him. All his life he'd been sure it would make him feel better and take the weight from his shoulders.

But ever since he had met Kate the thoughts of revenge and anger had subsided. They had gradually disappeared and thinking about it now he realized they had gone altogether. He didn't care if he ever got his revenge if only Kate was there. The realization of these feelings made him somewhat uneasy though. Back when he was 8 years old he had been dependant on his parents, on their love and all of a sudden it had ceased to be, they had ceased to be. He could clearly recall the emptiness he had felt back then, the pain that had been his constant companion. Sawyer sighed. Was he ready for this? Was he ready for relying on someone again, ready for loving someone again only knowing one day it would be over for whatever reason? Sawyer clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. He didn't know. He wanted Kate close but he didn't know if he could not even regarding the fact that he was most probably bound to destroy her life sooner or later. He needed to think. He needed time to think and find out what mattered more so he got up, grabbed a bottle of water and his backpack and headed for a remote part of the beach.

When Kate had woken up Sawyer had still been sound asleep. He'd had his arm around her and had her back close to his chest. His head had rested on top of hers and his hand had been on her flat stomach. She had gently freed herself from his touch, had gotten up and had left the tent. She needed to think about it. About Sawyer, about what had happened, about their future, if they had one. So she had walked over to her tent to get something to drink and her backpack and had headed for the jungle. She was now sitting on the damp ground, her head rested against a heavy tree trunk, her eyes closed. She knew the picture might look peaceful, soothing even, but inside everything was stirring. She hadn't told him she loved him the night before but she was damn sure he knew. And even though he hadn't said it clearly either and had avoided to answer her direct questions he had said it in his own way. Kate didn't know what to make out of it, though. She knew she loved him but she also knew that if they ever got rescued her real life wouldn't allow her to lead the white picket-fence life every girl was dreaming about.

Her real life. Kate sighed at the thought. Back in the real world she was a wanted fugitive. She was on the run and if it hadn't been for the crash she would probably be in a prison cell right now. What could she offer Sawyer except for writing letters and monthly visits at the state pen? He'd think it would be too difficult and he would turn his back and walk away. She would be a burden to him and being a burden was the last thing she wanted to be. But what exactly did she want? She wanted him to hold her at night, to kiss her good morning, she wanted him to tease her when she was deliberately being difficult, she wanted him to fuck her senseless every night and every morning and every moment in between, she wanted to marry him, wanted little blond blue eyed kids with him and wanted him to grow old with her. But how much of this could she actually have? How much of it was even remotely likely to happen? She shouldn't have called him back in Australia, she should've left it at what had happened before they boarded the flight and on it. Maybe then they would not have ended up on the same damn plane and everything would be a hell of a lot easier right now. But easier didn't necessarily mean better.

Around midday Kate decided to head back to the beach. She was getting quite hungry and she hadn't really found a solution to her little plight so she thought maybe a little diversion might help her clear her head. She wasn't afraid of meeting Sawyer on the beach since he either would still be asleep or chopping wood like mad. She knew him a lot better than sitting around and brooding over something, he just wasn't the type. He was a doer not a thinker. When she got back to the beach she found Sun in the makeshift kitchen slicing some fruit. "Hey, Sun" Kate said friendly and the little Korean woman instantly smiled back affectionately. "Hello Kate, where have you been? I haven't seen you in a while, we were getting worried!" Kate tried to avoid her inquisitive gaze but found herself unable to do so. Sun had always been kind and helpful and she was one of the few people she now counted as friends. "I was….you know….away, had to think about something" Kate stammered and found Sun grin knowingly.

"And what have you decided, Kate?" Sun wanted to know. Kate looked at her, her dark brown eyes all kindness and care and she sighed and shook her head. "I don't know Sun, I have a real life off the island, you all know that I'm going to jail the minute I get off the island. What good is it for making promises that I can't keep?" Sun heard the desperation in Kate's voice and understood her situation only too well. "You know, Kate, there was a time when I was about to give Jin up. I had already planned everything to leave him and at the time it seemed the best thing I could choose to do. But I didn't go, I didn't leave Jin and now we're here and I'm so happy that I didn't do it!" Sun shot Kate a wide and happy smile and Kate dared to ask what she already knew the answer for. "Why didn't you leave him?" she asked softly yet a bit shaky. Sun smiled at her again. "Because I love him, Kate. And when you truly love someone, you forget your fears and insecurities and fight for only 1 minute of happiness with the person you love." Kate suddenly realized that Sun was right. She loved Sawyer and damn it if that wasn't enough.

After several hours of sitting under a palm tree on the empty beach, after two boring swims in the ocean and a whole bottle of water later Sawyer still couldn't figure it out. He was lost on an island in the South Pacific with the most beautiful yet unbearable headstrong woman he'd ever laid eyes on and couldn't figure it out? They should be having lots of sex and babies and live in a tree house like the family Robinson. What kind of cosmic joke was that exactly, huh? He had even tried a pro and contra list. The pros were most evident, she was beautiful, sensitive and sensual, she could turn his brain to mush, the heat of her body was almost always too much to take and she made him happy as hell. The cons however couldn't be denied, either. She was a fugitive and would most likely go to jail, she was headstrong and a tomboy, she was belligerent and mischievous. He loved her. Sawyer found himself unable to determine whether that was a pro or a con. It would only do harm, to both of them. But. The "but" always came up. Whatever solution Sawyer reached there was always a "but I do love her". Damn it, talking about brain turning to mush here.

Around midday Locke came Sawyer's way. The bald hunter was up to one of his mysterious missions, maybe talking to the island or something, but Sawyer didn't really care. Locke however stopped when he reached Sawyer and handed him a mango. "Thought you might be hungry, James" he said dryly and smiled at the Southerner. Sawyer just looked up at him and had his full mocking self on in no second. "The hell you care about my nutrition Mr. Clean?" Locke understood Sawyer's way of saying thanks and sat down beside him. "Seems to be the day for big thinking, am I right?" Locke said. Sawyer turned to him, a questioning look on his face. "Saw someone else head into the jungle this morning with a stern look and a creased brow" Locke answered matter-of-factly. Sawyer instantly knew that the older guy was referring to Kate. Maybe he could get something out of Baldie. "She looked angry?" he wanted to know. Locke's grin just grew wider. "Let me tell you something, Sawyer. A few years ago I was in love with a woman called Helen. She was beautiful and funny and back then I couldn't believe someone like her would like to be with someone like me. She moved in with me and I even wanted to ask her to marry me but when the time came and I had to make the decision between her and the one thing that has been driving me for years, the one person that had destroyed who I was and had exploited me like I wasn't of any further value, when I had to make that decision, I made the wrong one. When she asked me to believe in us and to forget my past, when she asked me to choose her over him I didn't do it. I wanted closure and answers and I drove her away." When Locke finished Sawyer was looking very stern and serious. The older man got up, patted Sawyer on his shoulder and made his way towards the further end of the island. After a few feet however, he stopped, turned around and said: "You want my advice, Sawyer? Never choose your past over your future" and with these words he finally left.

"Jungle Wonderland not worth staying the night, Freckles?" Sawyer said with a grin as he walked into his tent. Kate was sitting on his makeshift bed her knees tugged to her chest and smiled up at him as he came in. "Heard they had changed the Southern Pervert show to another venue, wouldn't wanna miss that for the world!" she said with a smile on her face. Sawyer ran his hand through his hair and stepped a few inches closer. He looked into her green eyes and never looked away as she got up. Kate stood as close as possible to him so that their noses were mere inches apart. For a few brief moments neither said anything, they just looked into each other's eyes hoping to see what the other was thinking.

"I love you, Sawyer" Kate said softly never breaking the look they were sharing. "Hell, Freckles, love you, too" Sawyer finally admitted. This is truth time, Kate thought and began to speak again. "I'm a fugitive, when we get rescued I'll most probably got to jail, Sawyer". Sawyer only nodded, if he ever was going to talk about it all truthfully, this was the moment he should force his sorry ass to speak. "I don't know if I can do this, Kate, I'm a freaking con man, I lie and cheat as a profession and I have a vendetta going for the man who killed my parents". It was Kate's turn to nod. "I run every time I'm scared or have the feeling someone gets on to me" she said and Sawyer grabbed the small of her back and held her close. "Don't run from me, Freckles" "Don't lie to me, Sawyer". And with these last words Sawyer finally lowered his head and kissed her. At first it was soft and tender but as the seconds passed the kiss became more demanding and more passionate. Sawyer wanted to show her how much he loved her. He wasn't really the type for valentine cards and stuffed bears and flowers but he understood body language. Kate enjoyed the warm feel of his body so close to hers again. She pressed her hips against his as Sawyer ran his hand softly under her tank and teased the naked skin of her back.

Sawyer broke the kiss and began to kiss a trail from Kate's lips over her cheeks, towards her ears and down her neck. "God, I love you Freckles…" Sawyer moaned against her ear and he smiled inwardly. Once out he had the feeling he needed to say it all the time. He loved her like mad and at last he wasn't afraid of telling her anymore. Kate finally started to move and moved her hands to the top button of his shirt and started to unbutton it. Sawyer lifted his head again and looked at her while she was doing it. She was so damn beautiful he was awed and a part of him never wanted to look away again. Kate noticed his stare and smiled at him seductively. "Can you do me a favor, Sawyer? Make love to me…"

Kate's simple and yet meaningful words undid him. He quickly wriggled out of his shirt and pulled her tank above her head. In no time he had her bra unhooked and her pants unzipped. Kate in the meantime unbuckled his belt and unzipped his denims. Since his pants were always a tad to big they easily fell down his legs and Sawyer moved to do the same to Kate's. Both stepped out of their pairs and moved lower and on to the makeshift bed. Sawyer gently positioned himself on top of Kate and let his hand run over her cheek. Again he looked at her intensely and hoped she could see all he couldn't say in his eyes. Kate understood and simply nodded. He hastily resumed kissing a path down her body but this time he didn't stop at her neck. He moved lower over her collarbone and grazed the sensitive skin between her two perfect breasts. Kate let out a little moan at the sensation which encouraged Sawyer only further. He let his hands retrace the path he had just kissed and let his thumbs gently rub her nipples until they were hard. Kate writhed beneath him and Sawyer could feel himself get harder with every part of her skin that he touched.

In response Kate let her hands softly run over his back and lower until she reached the hem of his boxers. She let one of her hands slip inside and squeezed his ass a bit. Sawyer groaned at the sensation and ground his erection against her core. Kate was already wet and ready for him and every inch of cloth that was still between them seemed like a tremendous torture. Sawyer noticed her frantic movements and moved his hands to her hips to steady her. "Easy, sweetheart, no need to rush, I'm not goin' anywhere…" he said with a raspy voice. Kate angled her legs so that he was now lying between them and Sawyer knew he couldn't take much more. He looked up at her and softly kissed her nose. They were mere inches apart yet again and Kate let her free hand run through his hair and smiled at him. With her other hand that was still firmly on his naked ass she increased the pressure and pressed him closer to her core. Sawyer lowered one of his hands between their bodies and into her panties. With gentle fingers he caressed her curls and slowly let one finger slide inside of her. "God, Kate, you're so wet, you drive me crazy, Freckles" he got out between clenched teeth.

He let his thumb caress her clit and felt her writhe more and more. "Sawyer…..please…." Kate was beyond reason and couldn't think straight anymore. She couldn't move or say anything intriguing or pull any sexy tricks she just lay there enjoying his touch craving for more. When Kate's moaning became heavier Sawyer moved his second hand down as well and expertly shoved her panties away and then lowered his boxers over his throbbing cock. With one quick and smooth but gentle move he entered her completely. Kate inhaled sharply and held her breath. The feel of him inside her made her body burn and for a second she was scared she might burn alive. Ever so slowly Sawyer started to move inside of her. He almost pulled out fully only to enter her again. Kate wound her legs around his waist to enhance their angle and then Sawyer lost it completely. All thinking and worrying ceased and all that was left was the feel of their bodies moving in unison, moving as one.

Soon Sawyer accelerated his pace and Kate matched his desire and speed in no time. Her incoherent moans became louder with every stroke he made and soon Sawyer felt her walls contract around his shaft. He fucked her harder and deeper but with a strange passion and feel of belonging that hadn't been there before. He was hard yet passionate and it was an exquisite mixture. Only a few seconds later Kate came and her orgasm took Sawyer with her. He pushed into her a few more frantic times and finally emptied himself into her.

For a few moments they just lay there spent but happy and looked into each other's eyes. Their breathing was ragged and little sweat drops were on their foreheads. Kate stroke his hair out of his eyes and smiled at him. "You think we have a chance, Sawyer?" Her eyes were full of a million other questions to which Sawyer didn't think he knew the answers to but he was willing to try for the first time. "Dunno, Freckles, guess we just gonna have to fuck the odds, don't ya think?" Sawyer's grin grew wider and he kissed her passionately. The kiss was soft, gentle and a million other things and for the first time both believed that maybe, maybe it could work. Maybe….

_Kate sat down on her seat. 21 F. She looked at her watch and shifted in her seat nervously. The plane was gonna leave soon but still quite a few passengers were missing. Even the seat next to her was still empty. Maybe the person sitting there had overslept just like herself. Maybe he or she got stuck in the traffic. __She leaned back and looked outside the small window. She couldn't see much, only parts of the terminal and the sunny Californian sky. Kate sighed. The last time she'd been on a plane was when they had been flown from Fidji to Los Angeles. Back then she hadn't been looking forward to the flight or the destination but back then everything had been different. Suddenly she felt the passenger next to her sit down. It was a tall and very handsome man in his late thirties and Kate smiled at him widely. He eyed her suspiciously and said: "What ya smilin' at sweetcheeks?" Kate's grin widened as she answered. "Nothing. I've just been wondering if you have overslept just like I have" The blonde man suddenly smiled back at her. "Yeah, well, had a few beers with a damn spinal surgeon last night. Told me everything about his girlfriend Juliet and how she was having his baby an' all, turns out he's crappin' his pants 'cause he's scared. He just needed someone to have a few quiet beers with, you know." _

_Kate nodded and giggled. "So, what brings you here? What are you doing in Italy?" she eyed him and tried to seem casual and composed. __The man next to her slowly took her hand in his, raised them both and kissed the back of hers. He smiled at her, his dimples fully on display. "God, Freckles, I really can't wait to marry you!" he exclaimed happily. Kate smiled back at him and moved closer to him. Sawyer used his other hand to trace his thumb over her lips. "I love you, James Ford, and I can't wait for that little Italian church." Sawyer sighed. "Love you, too, Freckles……" and with these words he kissed her gently. After everything that had happened she was here with him. On a plane to Italy to marry him. The boxes at her house were already packed and soon she would move in with him. It all seemed surreal and a bit ridiculous but she was here. They had made it through the time on the island without killing each other and they had successfully managed to get back into the real life. They both had decent jobs now, a place to live, friends and most importantly, each other. _

_Somehow it worked and sometimes Sawyer found himself afraid of waking up from a dream. But Kate, his Freckles, she was real and she was his. And maybe if he was lucky, she would be for a very lon__g time. Maybe even forever. Sawyer broke the kiss and grinned at Kate again. "Ever done it in the plane bathroom, Freckles?"_

_The End_


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